Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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It has recently come to many people's attention that

celebrities

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have higher incomes than

politicians

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. Advocates believe that

this

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is a

postive

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positive

development,

while

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critics

views

Change the verb form

view

show examples

this

Linking Words

as a negative one. Personally, I strongly agree with the former party, as I will elaborate

further

Linking Words

this

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essay. First and foremost, why is

this

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even the case? The answer to

that is

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media and publicity. Hollywood stars, singers and athletes are the most common examples: brand endorsements and contracts

along with

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special events and

whanot

Correct your spelling

whatnot

what

became money printers to them. They are the ones who face the public most often,

consequently

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becoming a great

middle man

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middleman

show examples

for cooperates to advertise themselves. Obviously,

such

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tools are

unavailible

Correct your spelling

available

unavailable

politicians

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, as their works are not public-facing in the same informal way.

Therefore

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, the salary of

celebrities

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are

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show examples

higher than that of

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politicians'

Change noun form

politicians

show examples

. On the one hand,

this

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source of income means economic thrives for

patreon

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Patreon

show examples

brands.

In other words

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, the situation indicates that

celebrities

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are

good

Add an article

a good

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investment in terms of marketing. For the same reason, I support the idea.

On the other hand

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, if the trend continues, the

politics

Replace the word

political

show examples

sector may face a shortage of candidates. What I mean by

that is

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youngsters

Correct word choice

that youngsters

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who set their sights on popularity will

beome

Correct your spelling

become

less likely to be interested in politics. The overwhelming flow of income, the perk of being a celebrity, might overshadow any

desires

Fix the agreement mistake

desire

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to pursue politics, a less popular

carreer

Correct your spelling

career

choice.

Moreover

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, the fact that social media are more widespread

Change preposition

among

show examples

children than ever doesn't help with the situation. In conclusion, whilst

celebrities

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reaping mass profits from the media world,

politicians

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are being overlooked when it comes to money making. Alas, I still believe the merits far outweigh the disadvantages

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and believe that

this

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development is a positive one.

Minh Thu Mar 20 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that all points made are fully developed and supported with specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Work on correcting spelling errors, as they can detract from the clarity of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to maintain a consistent tone throughout the essay. Improve sentence transitions between paragraphs for better flow.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and provides a coherent introduction and conclusion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsements
revenue streams
global presence
diversified branding
income sources
free-market principles
market value
government budgets
public funds
public perception
value generation
bureaucratic
consumer spending
economic implications

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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

childhood obesity has now becoming more and more popular