Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is irrefutable that our lifestyle has
considrably
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considerably
altered during recent decades Research has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
established that
with
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apply
show examples
children
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's education and
upbring
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upbringing
show examples
has
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have
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been
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apply
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also
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changed in
recent
Add an article
the recent
a recent
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time
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period
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periods
show examples
. An
overwheling
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overwhelming
majority of people unanimously suggest that
children
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's free
time
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should be properly arranged by
parents
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while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
argue by saying that
kids
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should have
freedom
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the freedom
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to choose what they want to do in their free
time
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. I am in complete accord with
this
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point of fixing what
children
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will play. I will endeavour to shed some light on my both
viewpoint
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viewpoints
show examples
by giving
relevent
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relevant
reason
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reasons
show examples
with
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for
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my opinion. On the
one
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hand,
parents
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should do
planing
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planning
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according to
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their
child
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child's
show examples
preferencen
Correct your spelling
preferences
preference
.
Also
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firstly
Linking Words
childern's
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children's
children
gurdien
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guardian
garden
angels should always
analysis
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analyse
show examples
what their child likes to do
according to
Linking Words
that
parents
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should
undersand
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understand
and put them in
activity
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class.
For example
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, kid
attend
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attends
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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school
after
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and after
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that in their free
time
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they can go to
gymnastic
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gymnastics
show examples
or go to some
activity
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class to
ehance
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enhance
their
time
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with growth
also
Linking Words
meanwhile they will learn new
thing
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things
show examples
in life with fun
time
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also
Linking Words
looking
on
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at
show examples
their health and
flexibilty
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flexibility
. As
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a results
show examples
results
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result
show examples
they
we
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apply
show examples
learn new
form
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forms
show examples
of
activity
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when
Correct word choice
that
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children
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were
Wrong verb form
are
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not aware of.
On the other hand
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,
kids
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loves
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love
show examples
to play
by
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on
show examples
their own which is good
parents
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should
given
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be given
give
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that as
wll
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well
as but in whole days given some
perticular
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particular
time
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in that
parents
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can observe
thier
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their
child. Not planning for
whole
Add an article
a whole
the whole
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day after school make
children
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lathargic
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lethargic
.
For instance
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,
kids
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playing
Wrong verb form
play
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with their
nighbours
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neighbours
kids
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in their community with
group
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groups
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of 5 people but
not
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do not
show examples
focus on
one
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activity
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so they will enjoy
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning some
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activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
will not
proper
Add a missing verb
be proper
show examples
because no
one
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guided teacher is there in class like in
planned
Correct article usage
the planned
show examples
one
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. In conclusion,
definetly
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definitely
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children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
should play
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
but after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
age and for
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
time
Use synonyms
should
atten
Correct your spelling
attend
some
activity
Use synonyms
classes for learning .

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language
Work on the clarity and correctness of your sentences. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide a balanced view by giving equal weight to each perspective before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
content
You express a clear opinion on the topic, showing your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You attempt to provide examples to support your views, which is a good practice.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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