In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Over the
last
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few years, getting heavier and worsening health standards have become one of the major problems that
community
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the community
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should pay attention to.
While
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a sedentary lifestyle and an unhealthy diet are claimed to be the main reasons behind
this
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point, there are some effective
explanation
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explanations
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that can be applied. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
major
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the major
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reasons and effective
result
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results
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to
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for
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this
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complication. On the one hand, there tend to be several factors behind the affair of overweighting and poor fitness. The first driving force behind
this
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issue is the lack of physical exercise.
For instance
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, many
population
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populations
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do not regularly exercise but are choosing to work from home or to drive their car to work
while
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their orders are being delivered to the entrance of their home, which is reducing their physical activeness. Another important reason for
this
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argument can be the overconsumption of poor-quality cuisine. More and more public are getting reliant on fast cooking, which contains high levels of fat and leads to extra weight.
Thus
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,
community
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the community
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maintain exercise day by day to stay fit in later life.
On the other hand
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, despite the fact that obesity and poor health are a serious issue, there are some reliable
key
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keys
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to it. The first viable solution to
this
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dilemma is optimizing regular and measurable exercises.
For example
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, If a person works out regularly, it can help decrease body weight and make
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the community
a community
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healthier. Another significant way by which
this
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issue can be tackled is that governments should add more taxes on unhealthy
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meals
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and ban their advertisement. The reason for
this
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is that the higher cost of unhealthy cooking can discourage
population
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the population
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from eating
while
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producers will be unable to attract them with ads. In conclusion,
although
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overweighting and poor health are a serious complication
that is
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creating many negative effects, they can be addressed with the clarification that
have
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has
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been mentioned above. From my personal point of view, both government and individuals should work in collaboration in order to address
this
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concern.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your ideas in a more straightforward manner. Some sentences can be rephrased for clarity, such as 'many population' which should be 'many people'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use connecting phrases more consistently to enhance the flow of your writing. For example, using 'Furthermore' and 'In addition' can help link your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious of awkward phrasing, such as 'obesity and poor health are a serious issue,' as it should be plural ('issues'). Thoughtful revision can improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You successfully identified key causes and solutions related to the problem of increasing average weight and decreasing health levels, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction outlines the main points of discussion, which is a great way to set the context for your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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