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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the journeys to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph provides information about the journeys to
school
Use synonyms
 by children aged 11 to 16 in a year. The data was taken in the United Kingdom.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the kids go to
school
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 walking,
while
Linking Words
 least of students go to their study places by car.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the highest percentage is walking around 0-1 mile, it is 90%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the bicycle is the second transportation used by kids to go to
school
Use synonyms
. The data shows that they ride their bikes around 1 to 2 miles, the average count is nearly 80% yearly. The amount of bicycles in under 1 mile and 2-5 miles is almost similar, nearly 50%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
show examples
 is the third accommodation
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 by the children to
school
Use synonyms
. Students
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
show examples
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 is around almost to 70% in a year in England.
However
Linking Words
, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a very few students
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
show examples
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 for
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1 - 2 miles, but almost no kids use the
bus
Use synonyms
 for distances under 1 mile.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the operation of
Add an article
the car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 is around almost 10%
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 0 to 1 to above 30% in distance over 5.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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