IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the average cost of a monthly contract for four different mobiles in a European country from January to September 2002,measure in euro

The chart below shows the average cost of a monthly contract for four different mobiles in a European country from January to September 2002,measure in euro
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the expenses of
average
Add an article
the average
an average
show examples
 contract of mobile phones namely; Demo, Lex,
Sim
Use synonyms
TX
Use synonyms
, and Alpha per month in a country located in Europe between
January
Use synonyms
 and
September
Use synonyms
 2002. The costs
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 measured in
Euros
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, expenditure on all mobile devices increased over the months except for
sim
Use synonyms
TX
Use synonyms
 which slightly decreased.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Demo
mobile
Capitalize word
Mobile
show examples
 topped the list of mobile expenditure at 15
euros
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
, which remained relatively stable until July when it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25
euros
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 steadily
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to about 23
euros
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by Lex mobile, which
cost
Use synonyms
 around 12
euros
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the year.
Lex
Change noun form
Lex's
show examples
espenses
Correct your spelling
expenses
responses
 fluctuated over the months but increased to approximately 18
euros
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
 2002.
Similarly
Linking Words
 to Lex, Alpha followed an upward trend.
Although
Linking Words
 stood at just 5
euros
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
january
Change the capitalization
January
show examples
, the
cost
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 mobile remained relatively stable until
july
Change the capitalization
July
show examples
, when it skyrocketed to 25
euros
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
, topping the list as the most costly mobile device.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the above mobiles,
sim
Use synonyms
TX
Use synonyms
 decreased in
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 during the time period. In
Use synonyms
january
Change the capitalization
January
show examples
,
sim
Use synonyms
TX
Use synonyms
 was sold at just below 10
euros
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
cost
Use synonyms
 gradually increased peaking in
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
 at about 15
euros
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
 to 10
euros
Use synonyms
, which
contineud
Correct your spelling
continues
 to decline in
cost
Use synonyms
 to around 8
euros
Use synonyms
 by
Use synonyms
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sim, tx, january, september, euros, cost with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: