IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Responsible tourists pay attention to preserving both the environment and culture of place they visit. Some people think it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Tourism is one of the most crucial factors in boosting the economy of a country or a state. Some people believe that apart from the merits of tourism it leads to littering of
tourist
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places
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 and has an adverse effect on the heritage of a place. In my opinion, it is important to be a responsible
tourist
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 and preserve the richness of the country one is visiting.
To begin
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 with, responsible tourism is nowadays in trend as literacy rates are improving everyone has an insight into
cleanliness
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 and is a responsible citizen.
However
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, all the
tourist
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places
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 are well equipped with dustbins indicating proper waste segregation.
For instance
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, the Golden Temple located in Amritsar is one of the most visited
places
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 in the whole world, the state government has installed proper bins for waste disposal to avoid littering of streets.
Moreover
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, appropriate display for
cleanliness
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 reminders is
also
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 done on the streets.
Furthermore
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, it is seen that earlier travellers used to ruin historical monuments by writing on walls. Nowadays the government has installed cameras m at different
tourist
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places
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 for surveillance and even fines are charged in case of any harm to the building.
Along with
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this
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 special policies
such
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 as banning one-time use plastics (straws, plastic water bottles, plastic bags etc) to reduce the hazardous effects of non-biodegradable plastic on the environment.
In addition
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 to
this
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, recently a video surfaced on the internet in which visitors are seen initiating a
cleanliness
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 drive at
tourist
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 spots in Nepal.
Hence
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,
this
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 displayed the sense of responsibility towards
cleanliness
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 and preservation of heritage among the travellers.
To conclude
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, tourists have become more responsible and aware of the importance of preserving the culture of the place they are visiting.
However
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, local governments are
also
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 playing a pivotal role in maintaining clean cities.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to include a clearer thesis statement that indicates your stance on the topic. This will provide more clarity to your readers.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. While they are mostly clear, some connections could be strengthened to improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Include more specific details or examples to support your points further, particularly in discussing how responsible tourism impacts both the environment and cultural heritage.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint regarding the importance of responsible tourism, which is reflected throughout the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Examples such as the Golden Temple and the cleanliness drive in Nepal help illustrate your points effectively, demonstrating engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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