People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focusing on physical appearance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
huge
Add an article
a huge

The noun phrase huge issue seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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issue we face in our current time,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

want to look like the
influnciers
Correct your spelling
influencers
influences

If you don’t want influnciers to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

they see
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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social media, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

made
Wrong verb form
makes

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb made. Consider changing it.

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them obsess
on
Change preposition
over

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their physical
looking
Fix the agreement mistake
looks

It seems that looking may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
to be
Change the verb form
being

To be doesn’t seem to work here.

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wealthy to
attracts
Change the verb
attract

It appears that the verb attracts should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following be. Consider changing the verb form.

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girls.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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advantages and disadvantages let
summriest
Correct your spelling
summaries

If you don’t want summriest to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. The advantages,
that
Add a missing verb
are that

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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will let
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

apper
Correct your spelling
appear

If you don’t want apper to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with their clean clothes and with
good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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smell, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will be attractive for both females and males.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

caring about your
appearince
Correct your spelling
appearance

If you don’t want appearince to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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your
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace

The word work place seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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will let you have their
respact
Correct your spelling
respect

If you don’t want respact to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because it will match
thr
Correct your spelling
the

If you don’t want thr to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

place
Change noun form
place's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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prestage
Correct your spelling
prestige

If you don’t want prestage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

when you
at
Add a missing verb
are at

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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home with your wife she
want
Change the verb form
wants

The verb want does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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you to have at least
daily
Correct article usage
a daily

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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shower and to dress
your
Change preposition
in your

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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best clothes
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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her
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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as you would want her to do the same for you. The disadvantage, the
obsess
Replace the word
obsession

The word obsess doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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your
looking
Wrong verb form
looks

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb looking. Consider changing it.

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more than you ought to will ruin your life,
Linking Words
Linking Words
However
Add the comma(s)
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter However. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in social media will want you to believe their lies, what you see in their
contant
Correct your spelling
content
constant

If you don’t want contant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is just a part
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their life
not
Add the comma(s)
, not

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the negative appositive their life not the whole one. Consider adding the comma(s).

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the whole one.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Also. Consider adding a comma.

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they just share the happy days, they would not share the bad
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, so you have to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of

The preposition about after the adjective aware may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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it and don't let them fool you with their happy appearance.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, you should
to
Change the verb form
apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb should. Consider removing it.

show examples
look at
you
Correct pronoun usage
your

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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soul more than your attractive
looking
Fix the agreement mistake
looks

It seems that looking may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
because that
the
Add a missing verb
is the

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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most important thing
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In summary, all of us
want
Add the particle
want to

It appears that the verb look should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
look and
apper
Correct your spelling
appear

If you don’t want apper to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with great looking and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a
Add a missing verb
is a

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
good thing,
put
Correct your spelling
but

The word put doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
starting to
obsses
Correct your spelling
obsess

If you don’t want obsses to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

about it and make surgery and
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

things
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's

If you don’t want thats to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

when you would
me
Correct your spelling
be

The word me doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
mistaken
Add the auxiliary verb
is mistaken

The past participle verb mistaken has been used without an auxiliary verb. Consider adding one or using the past simple instead.

show examples
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
your thinking, so
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a good
loking
Correct your spelling
looking

If you don’t want loking to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and clean clothes with
fresh
Add an article
the fresh
a fresh

The noun phrase fresh smell seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
smell from you and funny soul will be enough, for pretty
girle
Correct your spelling
girl
girls

If you don’t want girle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to love you.

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Task Achievement
Work on improving your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly define your position on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use proper paragraphs to separate your ideas more distinctly for better clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors; review your essay for words like 'appearance' instead of 'appearince' and 'influencers' instead of 'influnciers'.
Task Achievement
Add examples to support your points more effectively, such as personal experiences or specific scenarios.
Task Achievement
You raise relevant points about the societal pressure to maintain appearances and the effects on personal life.
Task Achievement
Your acknowledgement of both the advantages and disadvantages of focusing on physical appearance shows a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Body image
  • Consumer culture
  • Grooming habits
  • Personal identity
  • Professional demeanor
  • Psychological well-being
  • Self-esteem
  • Social comparison
  • Societal standards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: