People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focusing on physical appearance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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This
Linking Words
is
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
issue we face in our current time,
people
Use synonyms
want to look like the
influnciers
Correct your spelling
influencers
influences
they see
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social media, and
this
Linking Words
made
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
them obsess
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
their physical
looking
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
show examples
and
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
wealthy to
attracts
Change the verb
attract
show examples
girls.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
advantages and disadvantages let
summriest
Correct your spelling
summaries
. The advantages,
that
Add a missing verb
are that
show examples
will let
people
Use synonyms
apper
Correct your spelling
appear
with their clean clothes and with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
smell, and
this
Linking Words
will be attractive for both females and males.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
caring about your
appearince
Correct your spelling
appearance
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
your
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
will let you have their
respact
Correct your spelling
respect
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it will match
thr
Correct your spelling
the
place
Change noun form
place's
show examples
prestage
Correct your spelling
prestige
.
Also
Linking Words
when you
at
Add a missing verb
are at
show examples
home with your wife she
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
you to have at least
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
shower and to dress
your
Change preposition
in your
show examples
best clothes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as you would want her to do the same for you. The disadvantage, the
obsess
Replace the word
obsession
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
your
looking
Wrong verb form
looks
show examples
more than you ought to will ruin your life,
Linking Words
However
Add the comma(s)
However,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
in social media will want you to believe their lies, what you see in their
contant
Correct your spelling
content
constant
is just a part
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
their life
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
the whole one.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they just share the happy days, they would not share the bad
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, so you have to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
it and don't let them fool you with their happy appearance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
look at
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
soul more than your attractive
looking
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
show examples
because that
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
most important thing
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. In summary, all of us
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
look and
apper
Correct your spelling
appear
with great looking and
this
Linking Words
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
good thing,
put
Correct your spelling
but
show examples
starting to
obsses
Correct your spelling
obsess
about it and make surgery and
further
Linking Words
things
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's
when you would
me
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
mistaken
Add the auxiliary verb
is mistaken
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
your thinking, so
overall
Linking Words
a good
loking
Correct your spelling
looking
and clean clothes with
fresh
Add an article
the fresh
a fresh
show examples
smell from you and funny soul will be enough, for pretty
girle
Correct your spelling
girl
girls
to love you.

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Task Achievement
Work on improving your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly define your position on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use proper paragraphs to separate your ideas more distinctly for better clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors; review your essay for words like 'appearance' instead of 'appearince' and 'influencers' instead of 'influnciers'.
Task Achievement
Add examples to support your points more effectively, such as personal experiences or specific scenarios.
Task Achievement
You raise relevant points about the societal pressure to maintain appearances and the effects on personal life.
Task Achievement
Your acknowledgement of both the advantages and disadvantages of focusing on physical appearance shows a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Body image
  • Consumer culture
  • Grooming habits
  • Personal identity
  • Professional demeanor
  • Psychological well-being
  • Self-esteem
  • Social comparison
  • Societal standards
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