IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore students should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
Ensuring that
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 have physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 is
nussery
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necessary
 for
there
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their
show examples
helth
Correct your spelling
health
 ceaer, the responsibility should be all
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the parents ,
due to
Linking Words
 the
time
Use synonyms
 in school
too
Add a missing verb
being too
show examples
 short and they need all the
time
Use synonyms
 to teach
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 things .
Body paragraph 1
Correct your spelling
However
Howover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the
exercise
Use synonyms
 should be in
park
Add an article
the park
a park
show examples
 not in school , and
also
Linking Words
 they can go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
haiking
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hiking
hacking
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together
to gather
togather
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together
 as
Correct your spelling
family
famliy
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family
Body paragraph 2
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 still
remeber wene
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remember when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 my dad
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 us all to
maount
Verb problem
the mountains
show examples
 to claim it he was so
proficnel
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excited
 he
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 all the seafty things after that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
loveing
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loving
it
Correct pronoun usage
it it
show examples
 it was my first
hopy
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hope
.
Body paragraph 3
Forethemour, The
time
Use synonyms
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
Correct your spelling
spend
spaend
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spend
 in school
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be
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useful
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct your spelling
studying
staying
stadying
Correct your spelling
studying
 the
Correct your spelling
important
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 things,
Body paragraph 4
due to
Linking Words
 the regular physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 is a life
staiel
Correct your spelling
stage
steel
, the sports lessons as part of
clsess
Correct your spelling
class
classes
cases
 it's west of
time
Use synonyms
 ,
Conclusion
in
Correct your spelling
conclusion
councloution
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conclusion
Correct your spelling
I don't
don't
idon't
Correct your spelling
I don't
 agree with that because
exercise
Use synonyms
 is not
Correct your spelling
something
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 hard to teach ,
due to
Linking Words
 not the right place or the
time
Use synonyms
 ,
that is
Linking Words
 my
Correct your spelling
opinion
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion

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language improvement
There are some inaccuracies in spelling and grammar that can be improved, such as 'childern' (children), 'nussery' (necessary), and 'ceaer' (care). Taking care to proofread will enhance clarity.
coherence improvement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly connected and logically structured. Some sentences are fragmented or unclear, which might confuse readers. Try to use linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement improvement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Providing concrete evidence or examples would strengthen your argument.
engagement
You demonstrate a personal connection to the topic, which shows your engagement and makes your essay more relatable.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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