Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
argue that advertising is highly effective and motivates individuals to purchase products.
However
Linking Words
,
others
Use synonyms
believe that modern advertising has become outdated, and we no longer pay much attention to it. Both of them have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
valid reasons and
this
Linking Words
essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion. Every day billions of
people
Use synonyms
face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advertisements, advertisements are everywhere in public transport, roads and commercial buildings. But not everyone
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
them, because they are very common for them. Some companies try to make their posters more attractive. Research
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
California State University decided that
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
advertisements attract
people
Use synonyms
more than
others
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
period, companies share their promotes on monitors.
For example
Linking Words
, most electronics companies publicise their new gadgets on monitors, which attracts
people
Use synonyms
more. Some enterprises
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that after trying
this
Linking Words
metod
Correct your spelling
method
, their
sells
Correct your spelling
sales
show examples
grew more than 38%.
This
Linking Words
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
that
this
Linking Words
is the best way of advertising.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
this
Linking Words
is
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
information for us
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because we are not able to know every product on Earth. Announcing problems or special events
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
very important,
this
Linking Words
is the best way to inform
big
Correct word choice
a large
show examples
amount of
people
Use synonyms
.
Others
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
somewhat right somewhere
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
people
Use synonyms
adopted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
Metod
Correct your spelling
Method
of advertising
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
applying
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
than 100 years, and
this
Linking Words
period is enough
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
some thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
boring for
people
Use synonyms
. Most time
advertices
Correct your spelling
advertisements
on internet
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
are
skipping
Wrong verb form
skipped
show examples
by
people
Use synonyms
because they are not interesting enough.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
physological
Correct your spelling
physiological
psychological
state plays
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
role there,
due to
Linking Words
seeing a lot of colours or led
ligts
Correct your spelling
lights
can make
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
aggressive.
Researches
Correct your spelling
Researchers
show examples
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
German Medical University
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
that every day
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
affecting
Wrong verb form
are affected
show examples
by street lights and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
traumas. In conclusion, most
people
Use synonyms
claim that advertising is very successful and
inspire
Correct subject-verb agreement
inspires
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
buy that product.
Others
Use synonyms
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that advertising nowadays is very old and we do not pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to better organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct point. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Make sure to fully support your points with more specific examples or research to make your argument stronger and more credible.
language usage
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure, as there are several instances of awkward phrasing and errors that could affect clarity.
task achievement
You clearly expressed different viewpoints regarding the effectiveness of advertising, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction provided a good overview of the essay's focus, setting a clear direction for the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: