Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, kids spend most of their time
in
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on
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mobile gadgets on a daily basis. The reasons for
this
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are entertaining features and algorithms of
phone
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phones
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and apps. In my opinion, it is
negative
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a negative
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development as it poorly affects their cognitive skills. There are several reasons why
new
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the new
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generation
are
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is
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glued to smartphones. There a are variety of fun activities that phones provide
such
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as games, funny short videos and social
medias
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media
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. They are aimed to hold youngster’s attention, and
becoming
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become
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addictive. Algorithms
are
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apply
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functioned to create everlasting recommendation
feed
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feeds
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that recommend new entertaining content based on past
request
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requests
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,
consequently
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, children would be encouraged with a new portion of similar content after they finish one.
For example
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, social media, named
Tik Tok
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TikTok
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, is the most popular among the younger generation. There are millions of funny short videos that youngsters watch constantly
due to
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its algorithms, that adjust the feed to their interests.
Therefore
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, the cause of obsessing kids with phones is
function
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a function
the function
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of media platforms to adjust their interests. Spending too much time may negatively
cause on
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affect
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their
both
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apply
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mental and physical health. Mentally, continuous scrolling through short videos conditions the brain for quick rewards, making
harder
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it harder
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for children to focus on longer tasks. Physically, blue light from screens affects melatonin production, disturbing sleep cycles.
Moreover
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, lack of face-to-face interaction may significantly affect social development, which involves learning how to interact, communicate, and build relationships with others. In conclusion, kids are addicted to
phone
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phones
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because of the content recommendation capabilities, and
this
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has a negative impact on their well-being, causing insomnia, concentration and social skills.

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grammar
Ensure to maintain grammatical accuracy and avoid typographical errors.
content
Enhance the clarity of your arguments by providing more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence
Try to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs; using transition phrases can enhance coherence.
content
You've identified clear reasons for children spending time on their smartphones, showcasing relevant contemporary examples.
structure
The structure of the essay is logical, featuring a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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