Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, it has become increasingly common for
children
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to spend several
hours
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on their
smartphones
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. It is happening because
smartphones
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are addictive. Personally, I believe
,
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apply
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it is largely a negative development.
While
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there are many
reasons
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why
children
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spend
hours
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on their gadgets, one of the main
reasons
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is that
smartphones
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are addictive. To clarify, many apps inside the smartphone are designed to keep
children
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engaged for long
hours
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,
such
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as games. Digital games are visually appealing and interactive, so
children
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can spend their valuable time easily. Another example is YouTube for kids, on YouTube,
children
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can find a variety of cartoons
as well as
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kids' shows that they will not get bored
.
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with.
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As a result
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, they can spend
hours
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watching cartoons on their
smartphones
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.
Therefore
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, for these
reasons
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, it can occur.
This
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development is generally negative because it can lead to health issues and
has
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have
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an emotional impact. Specifically, when
children
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spend
hours
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on their
smartphones
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, it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle, which may result in various health problems like obesity, eye issues and poor posture.
In addition
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, when they do not communicate with their peers or play with them, it can lead to depression,
or
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and
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they will be more isolated.
Thus
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, for these
reasons
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, it can be highly harmful for them. In conclusion,
this
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has happened
due to
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several
reasons
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like
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, like
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apps which are addictive, and in my opinion, it has numerous drawbacks, as it can lead to illnesses.

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Task response
State a clear opinion at the start and end. In this essay the point is one side only. A short nod to the other view would show balance.
Coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph. This helps the reader see the plan and keep ideas in order.
Coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, because, for this reason. This makes the flow easy to follow.
Grammatical range and accuracy
Check grammar. Break long ideas into shorter sentences. Fix run on sentences and places with wrong or missing punctuation.
Task response
Give one or two clear examples that are easy to see. Do not state too many ideas that are not well shown.
Lexical resource
Use simple words. Avoid hard words. This helps to show your meaning clearly.
Task response
The essay states a clear view that the issue is mainly negative.
Coherence and cohesion
The writer gives two main reasons and some examples.
Coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow from the problem to the effects.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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