IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people prefer to stay in the same type of work are they lives while other prefered to change the type of work they do discuss both views and give yourOpinion

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Some
people
Use synonyms
works
Verb problem
apply
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thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that stay in the same
type
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 are they
lives
Change the verb form
live
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, meanwhile other
people
Use synonyms
 may
change
Use synonyms
their
Change the word
the
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 they do, and
change
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jobs
Use synonyms
 frequently. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we discuss
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why these two types of working strategies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happend
Correct your spelling
happen
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stay in
same
Change the article
the same
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type
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 for a long time. These may caused by that these
people
Use synonyms
valued
Wrong verb form
value
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 stable daily routine. They have a regular schedule almost
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have a clear time planning to
work
Use synonyms
, leisure and exercise.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
stick
Correct pronoun usage
who stick
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in
Change preposition
to in
show examples
 same
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 may upgrade their job titles from junior to senior or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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manager if they
work
Use synonyms
 hard and gain enough experience, accepted by their company. These can lead to a higher power in their company and gain
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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higher wages or
saleries
Correct your spelling
salaries
. In
other aspect
Change the wording
another aspect
other aspects
show examples
, another group of
people
Use synonyms
 believes that
change
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
in their
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type
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 is more considerable. These
people
Use synonyms
 believed that changing works or
jobs
Use synonyms
 frequently can help them to keep themself up to date, to be suitable for every new
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
, and to encolour their lives. These
people
Use synonyms
 may
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 in a
varieties
Correct the article-noun agreement
variety
show examples
 of industries. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, they can learn and have a deeper understanding of the societies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
complexed
Replace the word
complex
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 experience can lead to
a more
Correct the article-noun agreement
more stabled personalities
a more stabled personality
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stabled
Correct your spelling
stable
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 personalities. They may be more useful as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 employee and less likely to become unemployed when
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new powerful technologies like generative AIs come out. These
people
Use synonyms
 can learn how to use the technology, not to be replaced by them. In conclusion,
People
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 keep in same
type
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
 may have a high
professionally
Change the word
professional
show examples
 grasp of the technique and may gain a higher title and higher
saleries
Correct your spelling
salaries
.
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 frequently can have a higher cross-industry insight.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 much more rational decisions for their later life. In my opinion, I think
people
Use synonyms
 who
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 their job types
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 better. They can have a better in adapting
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
societies
Change noun form
society's
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 and have a lower risk
to suffer
Change preposition
of suffering
show examples
 from
structual
Correct your spelling
structural
 unemployment caused by new technologies.

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language
Try to use more varied vocabulary and correct some grammatical errors to enhance clarity and precision in your writing.
coherence
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Using transition words can help improve the coherence of your argument.
task response
Clearly outline your opinion in the introduction so that it is easy for the reader to identify your stance from the beginning.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view of the topic.
coherence
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job security
  • career growth
  • expertise
  • diverse experiences
  • adaptability
  • professional development
  • job satisfaction
  • skill acquisition
  • routine
  • new challenges
  • psychological factors
  • personal growth
  • salary increase
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
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