IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the number of household expenses in Japan and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2010. There were four sectors
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
housing, transport, food,
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the chart that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japan had the highest
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Malaysia
Use synonyms
had spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 a huge amount on housing. it is noticeable that both countries had the lowest expenditures on
healthcare
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Japan
had spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 29%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
, 21%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing, 20%
for
Change preposition
on
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 transport, 24%
for
Change preposition
on
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 food and 6%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was highest expenditure on housing and other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
 was the second highest expenditure that was 26%.
Use synonyms
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
 had
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
 27%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, 10%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transport and 3%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, healthcare, goods, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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