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Band 4.5

Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples from your experience

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Today, the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is an example of looking for a good solution to health problems. It can be useful for people who
have
Add a missing verb
do have

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 not any understanding of medicine, but can cause some unwanted circumstances. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, I will differentiate these two views and give my own opinion.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, humans may use the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to treat people, if there is not anyone who has knowledge about medicine. Individuals can learn essential steps for treatment at once from different pages.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the director of the Azerbaijan State University of Economics said that there was
the
Correct article usage
an

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 accident which involved a wounded person, so people joined
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and found the doctor's page. After all, they could save the person who was wounded.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, humans are able to learn new abilities about medicine from the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has endless sources about everything, so finding the true tactics for treatment is easy.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 2016, a girl whose name is Fatma said that she had not gone to any places to gain some abilities about a doctor's job. She learned everything about being a doctor from the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and now she is one of the best doctors in her territory.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 may cause some dissatisfaction. The public is able to use it
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 treat someone and any little misleading from the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can cause big trouble.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in Japan. Consider adding a comma.

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 the nurses who do not any enough abilities in surgery
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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decided to learn the steps of the surgery from the
Internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Ultimately, the person who
need
Wrong verb form
needed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb need. Consider changing it.

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 to be treated died. In conclusion,
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

internet
Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
 can lead to positive or negative aspects, it can be beneficial for humanity in some situations, but the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 may be a reason for some negative processes.

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task achievement
Try to provide clearer distinctions between the positive and negative aspects of using the internet for medical advice. It would strengthen your argument to explain why these aspects matter more broadly.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more connecting words to enhance the flow of your essay. This can improve your coherence and cohesion.
structure
You provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points of your essay.
content
Your use of specific examples, such as the story about Fatma and the incident in Japan, adds depth to your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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