IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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While
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 modern technology is continuously developing, there is a
controverse
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controversy
on
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over
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 scientific animal experimentation. Some people argue that many significant discoveries came from animal experiments,
while
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other
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others
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 are convinced that they should be forbidden. From my point of view, I strongly believe that scientific experiments on
animals
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 are mandatory and justified before applying to
humans
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. One major interest of the scientific studies on
animals
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 is the possibility
to try
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of trying
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 out a new method or
product
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 on different species of
animals
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 without risking human health. These experiments are very useful because the data obtained on tolerance and efficiency are preliminary results, that could be extrapolated to
humans
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.
However
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, if an adverse effect is observed, it warns the study investigator about some precautions to mention when using the evaluated
product
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 in
humans
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.
Moreover
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, in specific conditions, the
product
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's development might even be stopped in case
of
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apply
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major risks of negative effects are described. It seems difficult to find alternatives to animal experimentation. Indeed, if we do not have the capacity to conduct a study on
animal
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animals
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, it is very complicated to obtain information on a natural living organism. Even if it might be possible to modelized in computer chemical reactions, it will not be enough representative of the effects
in
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on
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 the human body with its metabolism. So, in the actual state of the sciences, finding any alternatives remains interesting but very challenging. To summarize, animal experimentations are debated but absolutely justified before using the evaluated
product
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 on
humans
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. The quality of the information obtained is crucial to
make
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making
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 the best decision for human health despite potentially having adverse effects on the
animals
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea related to the thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Use a greater variety of transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
When discussing alternatives, provide specific examples or references to current research or methods that could replace animal testing.
task achievement
Clarify or elaborate on your main points with more detailed explanations or real-life examples.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument in favor of animal experimentation, which is well-supported by reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a good overall structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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