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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of European adults engaging in various entertainment activities with family and friends in 1985 and 1995. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of European adults engaging in various entertainment activities with family and friends in 1985 and 1995. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of various entertaining activities with both family and friends talking, eating out, watching TV, playing computer games, and others. among European adults in 1985 and in 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is clear from the graph that watching television was the most popular activity ,
Whereas
Linking Words
, other activities were the least preferred
between
Change preposition
by
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 European adults. In 1985 leisure activities of European adults represented a significant percentage
in
Change preposition
of
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 watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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. Following it, the
teenager
Use synonyms
 loved eating out by 23%.
However
Linking Words
, a slight rate
with
Change preposition
of
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Use synonyms
teenager
Add an article
a teenager
the teenager
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 who
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
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 talking with their family.
I
Correct your spelling
In
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 contrast, in 1995, playing computer games was performed around 27%.
Also
Linking Words
, 30% the average of
teenager
Use synonyms
 who
liked
Wrong verb form
likes
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 watching TV
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
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.
In addition
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, the number of students who talked with their friends more than students who talked with their relatives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only a gradual proportion of
Use synonyms
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ate outside.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teenager with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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