discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern society .Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teacher , while other think that is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion .

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No doubt,

discpiline

Correct your spelling

discipline

disciplined

early

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an early

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age plays a crucial role

to build

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in building

show examples

a good

charactor

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character

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual.

However

Linking Words

, there is a growing debate where some people believe that it should be

Correct article usage

the

show examples

responsibility of

parents

Use synonyms

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

discipline at home,

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

contend that

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

are professionally trained to discipline

children

Use synonyms

so it is their primary duty to do so.I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.

One

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show examples

the one hand, influence at

early

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an early

show examples

age mostly

decide

Correct subject-verb agreement

decides

show examples

how

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

will

be grown

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

up.

Parents

Use synonyms

are

Correct article usage

the

show examples

first role models of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

leading

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

behave as

such

Linking Words

as their

parents

Use synonyms

By setting

Change preposition

Setting

show examples

up several rules for

children

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

sechedule

Correct your spelling

schedule

scheduled

bedtime, limiting screen time and speaking politely help them to be disciplined.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

are emotionally

conneted

Correct your spelling

connected

with their guardians which helps to convince them effectively about rules and regulations,

this

Linking Words

can lead to a better comprehension of right from wrong.

In addition

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, a child who is not disciplined at home may find

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

difficult to follow

school's

Correct article usage

the school's

show examples

regulations.

On the other hand

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

teaching

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the teaching

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

encourages and helps in following good habits , teachers are

also

Linking Words

responsible

to refine

Change preposition

for refining

show examples

reinforced

Wrong verb form

reinforcing

show examples

those in the form of social norms . Students spend most of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time with their tutors , they are trained to teach

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

learning in groups, so learning in a group might be

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show examples

effective way for them to be disciplined .

Linking Words

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

school

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the school

show examples

has an environment

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apply

show examples

similiar

Correct your spelling

similar

to public facilities, giving instructions and following them makes

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apply

show examples

easier for

children

Use synonyms

to understand

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

This

Linking Words

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

in, students

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge about

Correct article usage

the behavior

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

they should do with others

while

Linking Words

socialising . In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are important

to lay

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in laying

show examples

foundation

Add an article

the foundation

a foundation

show examples

with basic rules

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

are responsible

to refine

Change preposition

for refining

show examples

them

according to

Linking Words

the

real-world

Correct your spelling

real world

show examples

.In my opinion , in order to build an individual with civic values both the teachers and

parents

Use synonyms

should take responsibility.A collaborative approach, where guardians and instructors

putt

Correct your spelling

put

show examples

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to discipline

Change preposition

into disciplining

show examples

children

Use synonyms

,is

only

Correct article usage

the only

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prudent way to solve

this

Linking Words

issue.

amarbatth367Tue Mar 25 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your argument. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This could help strengthen your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

language use

Work on polishing your grammar and vocabulary for greater clarity and precision. This will help your ideas come across more effectively to the reader.

content

You've clearly articulated the roles of both parents and teachers in instilling discipline, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

structure

Your essay follows a logical progression from introduction to conclusion, making it relatively easy to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern society .Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teacher , while other think that is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions? 35

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.