IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that social
media
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 and websites have a big
impact
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 on
people
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that social
media
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 has a great
impact
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 on
people
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's lives because is more expanded than old things
such
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 as DVDs and magazines, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the internet has a great and big
impact
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 on
people
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 and television does not have a good
impact
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 on our world now.
To begin
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 with, social
media
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 some something you can access at any time and at any place.
In other words
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, there are not any obstacles to it unlike TV, which has some drawbacks.
In addition
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, the internet more easier than television regarding installation and repair.
For example
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, if your TV has issues you will be tired because You have to take it out of the house and go to a special repairman, and
this
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 is difficult and complicated. Another point to consider,
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 social
media
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 is more
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
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 with
content
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that, You can search on any topic you want
such
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 as since,fun and study and you will find what you need.
Moreover
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, the internet has different ways to
delvop
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deliver
the
Correct article usage
apply
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content
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such
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 as
,
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apply
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 video and voice.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a study conducted at the University of London in 2010, 75% of
people
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 like digital
content
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 more than traditional
content
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 because of the variety of display methods. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 than
Correct your spelling
the
tha
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
TV

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task achievement
Clarify your argument more clearly in the introduction. Make sure to state your position directly regarding the internet's impact compared to television.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each point in the body paragraphs is logically structured and linked to your main argument. Use linking words to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammar and sentence structure. There are several small errors that could be corrected for better clarity (e.g., 'social media some something you can access' should be 'social media is something you can access').
task achievement
You provide clear examples to support your main arguments, like the comparison between online content and television.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion on the topic, which provides a nice wrap-up to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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