IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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There is no doubt that
,
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apply
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 these days, several people argue that all experience on
animals
Use synonyms
 is awful and should be illegal. At the same time, others think that essential scientific discoveries can be made from
this
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 process. The question is: can scientific research on
animals
Use synonyms
 be justified? In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both points of view. In terms of the problems of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animal
trialing
Change the spelling
trialling
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, the main reason given to support
this
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 claim is the importance of animal rights around the world. Many people show their arguments against
this
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 issue because many testing organisations continue to conduct animal research.
As a result
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, numerous
animals
Use synonyms
 lost their lives every year for
this
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 cause.
For example
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, statistics provided by Harvard University showed the
number
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 of dead creatures
because
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because of
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 the scientific discoveries in London in 2022. The scored
number
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 was 400,000 in only one year.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 statistic highlights the effect on the natural environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several people hold the opposite view about
this
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 problem. they
discribe
Correct your spelling
describe
 that it is important to start a lot of experimentation on
animals
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of humans to trial their products
such
Linking Words
 as medicine goods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they express that many living beings have a short limitation in their ages.
for instance
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, a Japanese research centre stated the average
number
Use synonyms
 of years for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rodents in 2010.
they
Capitalize word
They
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 said that they
live
Wrong verb form
lived
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 for 10 months.
Linking Words
consequently
Capitalize word
Consequently
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, they
stable
Wrong verb form
are able
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 to test
the
Correct article usage
apply
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important scientific discoveries.
Linking Words
to
Capitalize word
To
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 sum up,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great
number
Use synonyms
 of
arguers
Replace the word
arguments
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against
Add a missing verb
are against
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this
Linking Words
 topic. it offers numerous positives for the medicine and industrial sectors.

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introduction
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the essay's focus. However, refining the thesis statement to succinctly state the two views will further enhance clarity.
coherence
In the body paragraphs, ensure there is a clear connection between ideas. For instance, while presenting examples, they should support the main point more directly. Transition words could help in guiding the reader through your argument.
example
Use specific statistics and sources, but ensure they are introduced properly to give context. Your example from Harvard could be more impactful with additional details about the nature of the research.
conclusion
Add a more robust conclusion that summarizes the main arguments and includes your own perspective. This will create a stronger closing and reinforce the essay's main message.
structure
The essay effectively introduces the topic and sets up a discussion on both sides of the argument, which is essential for this kind of essay.
evidence
Relevant examples are provided, which demonstrates an attempt to support the arguments made throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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