IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Because of progress in science and technology, there are a large number of advantages in agriculture.
Although
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 there are some negative aspects
due to
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 scientific developments, I totally agree with
this
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 statement because
such
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 developments will change the farming style in a better way to make a profit and will improve
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 situation. Compared to the middle of the 19th
centry
Correct your spelling
century
, there has been an
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 number of more productive farming machines in some developed countries as science has developed. Nowadays, technological progress is leading more
farmers
Use synonyms
 to work more easily and
effeciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
, resulting
allowing
Change preposition
in allowing
show examples
 them to expand their fields to cultivate.
According to
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 some statistics conducted by Japanese Admistry, the figure of domestic
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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 of rice has increased gradually since more and more new advanced agricultural machines
invented
Add a missing verb
were invented
show examples
 and introduced in the nation. Without technology, today’s agricultural industry in Japan would not have been able to make much more income.
In addition
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 to the
natinalwide
Correct your spelling
nationwide
 benefits, the development
also
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 contributes to an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 remuneration of
farmers
Use synonyms
. Science can stimulate the current farming style and produce a wide variety of crops
such
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 as uniquely
colored
Change the spelling
coloured
show examples
 vegetables and fruits, which might lead consumers to pay attention to the new types of products and
prompting
Wrong verb form
prompt
show examples
 them to
perchase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 the productions.
As a result
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, success in developing more varieties of products can bring higher income to
farmers
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I think that scientific developments
such
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 as agricultural machines and uniquely produced crops can improve agriculture, resulting in
bringing
Verb problem
apply
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financial benefits for both a nation and
farmers
Use synonyms
.

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Language Accuracy
Try to use more precise language and avoid minor spelling errors (e.g., 'centry' should be 'century', 'effeciently' should be 'efficiently').
Task Response
Ensure that there is a more balanced discussion of the negatives of scientific developments in farming, as this would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing more developed examples and explanations to support your key points, which would enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas.
Task Response
Good introduction that clearly states your agreement with the statement and outlines your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument and restates your agreement with the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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