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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 courses of
students
Use synonyms
 in two junior high
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, including
school
Use synonyms
 A and
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
. It is clear from
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
 chart that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport has
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A than
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
B
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most like subjects which do not move constantly,
such
Linking Words
 as literature and drawing.
School
Use synonyms
 A of
students
Use synonyms
 in sport
acccounted
Correct your spelling
accounted
 for 70% of
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 only has 10% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 like science and drawing in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, about 38% and 50%,
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
 A
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stuednts
Correct your spelling
students
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in those subjects, the literature is 10% and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawing just under 10%.
The science
Correct article usage
Science
show examples
 is the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 course of
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A (18%) than
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 (3 %),
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
math is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
like
course
Add an article
a course
the course
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 about 20%, and only 11%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
math
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
school
Use synonyms
 A of
students
Use synonyms
 are
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • comparative data
  • favorite subjects
  • middle schools
  • horizontal axis
  • vertical axis
  • quantifies
  • preference
  • initial observation
  • significantly greater interest
  • shared enthusiasm
  • favored
  • attracts more students
  • draws the highest number
  • popularity
  • outliers
  • subject preferences
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