IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 world, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 online learning has increased significantly. Some individuals argue that e-learning is beneficial and it will replace traditional
education
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 soon. Others argue that traditional
education
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 is irreplaceable. I strongly believe that traditional
education
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also
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 provides
students
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 with non-academic needs
such
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 as discipline and manners.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives. On the one hand, some people believe that e-learning is so beneficial and
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 replace face-to-face
education
Use synonyms
 soon. Online learning is becoming more popular and provides
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 with abundant sources of learning.
In addition
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,
students
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 could choose their specific materials and follow the lesson
with
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at
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 their own pace, different
with
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from
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 offline
education
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 in class.
Furthermore
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, online learning
also
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 provides
students
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 with better interactive learning mediums
such
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 as graphic video and audio-visual materials which easier for them to understand the material.
Moreover
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, e-learning is
also
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 beneficial for
students
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 in remote
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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, these
students
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 could get high-quality
education
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 that may not be available in their area.
On the other hand
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,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 oppose that traditional
education
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 is better than online
education
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. School and face-to-face
education
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 not only
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 you with academic teaching materials but
also
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nurtures
Correct subject-verb agreement
nurture
show examples
 you with non-academic aspects
such
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 as discipline, etiquette and social skills. In offline
education
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,
students
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 adapt
with
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to
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 their peers in class and how to interact with them,
this
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 method
beyond
Add a missing verb
is beyond
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 online
education
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.
Moreover
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, in higher
education
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, some courses
such
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 as Medicine and Engineering require much vocational
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and tutorials in order to excel
the
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in the
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 material. In fact, COVID-19 was a great example
for
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of
show examples
this
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 problem since it was hard to follow the material without practical
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
. In conclusion, traditional
education
Use synonyms
 provides
students
Use synonyms
 with better
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 than online learning since it
also
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 nurtures
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with non-academic aspects
such
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 as manners and social skills,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 adapt
in
Change preposition
to
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 teamwork and how
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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interact with their peers in class.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure you use consistent verb tenses, particularly in discussing the benefits and characteristics of online and traditional education.
Task Response
Expand on your points with more detailed examples or data to strengthen your argument, especially in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Carefully proofread your work for minor grammatical errors and sentence structures that can enhance clarity and readability.
Task Response
Reiterate your opinion more emphatically in the conclusion to reinforce your stance throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear argument with both perspectives on the topic, which is essential for a discussion essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your structure is generally logical, with clear paragraphing that separates different views effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-Learning
  • face-to-face education
  • remote learning
  • virtual classroom
  • webinar
  • digital platform
  • self-paced learning
  • interactive learning
  • course accessibility
  • academic networking
  • pedagogy
  • synchronous/asynchronous sessions
  • MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • edtech (educational technology)
  • holistic development
  • practical skills
  • collaborative learning
  • digital divide
  • curriculum adaptation
  • technological literacy
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