IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the samepark today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The diagrams depict the transformation of
grange
Correct your spelling
Grange Park
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to today.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are major changes in monuments and institutions. In 1920, there were five seats in
this
Linking Words
park
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 those were relocated and four seats have gathered at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
park
Use synonyms
. A fountain, which was located
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, has
removed
Add a missing verb
been removed
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, and a rose garden has
placed
Add a missing verb
been placed
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 there today. On the right of the
park
Use synonyms
, a pond for water plants
have
Wrong verb form
has been
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 demolished, and the area is used for children's playground today.
Additionally
Linking Words
, an old rose garden
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been replaced with a cafe, and a glasshouse has been converted into a water feature. On the left side, there were two rose gardens in 1920.
However
Linking Words
, one of the gardens has
demolished
Add a missing verb
been demolished
show examples
. In 1920, musicians played
at
Change preposition
on
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 the stage,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
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 it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed into
Amphitheatre
Correct article usage
an Amphitheatre
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 for concerts. In 1920, there was no car
park
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
park
Use synonyms
, though visitors can use
underground
Add an article
the underground
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 car
park
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 entrance is located
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right side of the
park
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of the main changes and trends. You might include phrases that indicate there are overarching themes in the changes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance the flow. For instance, 'in addition' or 'however' can help clarify comparisons or contrasts between the two time periods.
Task Response
Aim to provide more detailed descriptions and specific examples for the features mentioned. For example, specifying what kinds of flowers were in the old rose garden might add depth.
Content
The essay does a good job of identifying several key changes in the park's layout over the years, including the relocation of seating and the introduction of new features.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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