Nowadays, people are moving to other countries to seek jobs. Some people think it affects the children of such home negativity while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion

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It has been a recent trend of moving abroad in search of work. Few argue that it will cause
troubles
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trouble
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to
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the
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children of those families but others view it as an advantage. I support the second viewpoint.
This
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essay will
be discussing
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discuss
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both these viewpoints and
would
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will
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provide several arguments supporting my selection. People migrate to different
countries
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to get settled and to be financially independent.
This
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moving out will always require certain sacrifices to make
such
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as leaving their family members alone in home
countries
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with great sorrow and missing.
This
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can impact married couples more than bachelors as their kids will never get quality time to spend with their parents.
For example
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, many hostel teenagers tend to be more vulgar and inattentive with more bad habits than pupils living with their parents. As, they lack proper
punishement
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punishment
and
guideness
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guidelines
from their parents which result them in developing inappropriate behaviour.
On the contrary
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, moving to international and developed
countries
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will provide more
opportunity
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opportunities
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for their personal and professional life.
Firstly
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, it can help people to come out
from
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of
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their comfort zone and start
wokring
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working
hard
on
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in
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a different community.
Secondly
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, it will help them to
achive
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achieve
many great milestones in their occupation and can
also
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aid
their offsprings future
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their offspring's future
the future of their offspring
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.
For instance
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, many Indians are moving out to
english speaking
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English-speaking
countries
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to get settled faster and to save their younger
ones
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ones'
one's
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fate because they believe that there are more options outside their home country. To
reintrate
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reiterate
reintegrate
, People move out to
foriegn
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foreign
countries
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to hunt work. Some see
this
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as an unpleasant
developement
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development
but others encourage it. In my opinion, it is a great idea which brings monetary freedom with early settlement in life.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be more engaging by starting with a broader statement about migration before narrowing it down to the specific topic at hand. Additionally, clearly stating your opinion in the introduction can help the reader understand your stance from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This could help guide the reader through the argument you are making and show clearly how each paragraph relates to the overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'foriegn' instead of 'foreign,' 'punithement' instead of 'punishment,' and 'achive' instead of 'achieve.' This will enhance the professionalism of your writing.
Task Achievement
Providing more specific examples for the benefits of moving abroad would strengthen your argument. While you mentioned Indian families moving to English-speaking countries, elaborating on the benefits they experience or specific success stories can make your point more compelling.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion that you support throughout the essay, and your structure follows the prompt by discussing both viewpoints before stating your own.
Task Achievement
You included relevant points and ideas that show an understanding of the impact of migration on children, both positive and negative.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples demonstrates your ability to relate your ideas to real-world situations, which effectively enhances your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional stability
  • academic progress
  • emotional distress
  • gain employment
  • educational journey
  • exposure to diverse cultures
  • financial stability
  • worldview
  • enhanced earnings
  • quality of life
  • mitigate
  • interventions
  • comprehensive
  • enriching development
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