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Writing Samples
Band 5

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizer and better machinery. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your opinion.

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In recent years,
food
Use synonyms
 production has become cheaper
due to
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 better
fertilizers
Use synonyms
 and improved machinery.
This
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 has both positive and negative effects. One major benefit is that
food
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 is now more affordable and available. With better
fertilizers
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, crops grow faster and yield more, which helps to feed more people. Improved machinery
also
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 makes farming easier and quicker, reducing
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 costs and increasing efficiency.
However
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, there are some downsides. Overusing
fertilizers
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 can harm the soil and pollute the environment, affecting water and wildlife.
Additionally
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, as machines take over more tasks, many workers in farming may lose their jobs, leading to higher unemployment in rural areas. In my opinion,
while
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 cheaper
food
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 production is a good thing, it is important to use technology carefully. We should promote the use of environmentally friendly
fertilizers
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 and teach farmers sustainable farming methods. It is
also
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 essential to find ways to support workers who may be affected by these changes. In conclusion,
although
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 advancements in fertilizer and machinery have made
food
Use synonyms
 production cheaper, it is important to manage these changes in a way that protects both the environment and people's jobs.

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task achievement
Expand on the main points with more specific examples or data to strengthen your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
structure
The essay presents a clear opinion and structure with distinct introduction and conclusion.
content
It effectively covers both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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