IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? what do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that denizens need to buy a residence
instead
Linking Words
 of living as
a tenants
Correct the article-noun agreement
tenants
a tenant
show examples
 in some nations because of poor rental laws and insecurity of living. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development since
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 can live happily in their houses during retirement without any financial burden. Owning a property would become a basic necessity for
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 in some countries
due to
Linking Words
 unlawful conditions for tenants in that particular place. It is inevitable that shelter is the main requirement of living,
however
Linking Words
, landowners raise the rental amount without any contract and if in case somebody is not willing to pay, they need to leave the equity.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some underdeveloped countries, equity holders react as they want with their tenants and authorities are
also
Linking Words
 not able to make solutions in critical situations
due to
Linking Words
 poor law management.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the trend of buying a
house
Use synonyms
 property is regarded as an effective decision because it entails liberty and dignity, especially after retirement, older
people
Use synonyms
 usually have lower income sources as they are not able to earn any more. They do not have any economic stress to pay off the
house
Use synonyms
 or give monthly rent to landowners, resulting in qualitative livelihood. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, if often read
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 newspaper that the government of Canada has been planning to invest more in making shelters for homeless
people
Use synonyms
 since it might be very hard for them to live in harsh winter conditions.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who set a goal to buy a
house
Use synonyms
 at a young age would have more chances of having a happy life during
Linking Words
last
Correct pronoun usage
their last
show examples
 years of age. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should strive to buy apartments in place of renting a
house
Use synonyms
 in various nations in order to secure their shelter for the rest of life rather than to bound by the conditions of
home owners
Correct your spelling
homeowners
show examples
 as well by acquiring a
house
Use synonyms
, they would feel
less
Add an article
the less
a less
show examples
 financial burden in future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the clarity of your topic sentences and ensuring they are more directly tied to the argument you are presenting. This will help in guiding the reader through your essay more effectively. Additionally, ensure that your paragraphs have a clear focus and smoothly transition from one idea to another.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, try to provide more specific examples and explain them in greater detail. This will enhance your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and argument regarding the importance of home ownership versus renting, which is well-structured.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both the reasons for preferring home ownership and the positive aspects of this situation for individuals, especially in the context of retirement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: