Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

There has been an ongoing debate about whether well-known
athletes
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earn more income than people who work in crucial positions reasonably or not. I firmly believe that
although
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both sides show some truth, I have reason to explain why it is fully justified. On the one hand, successful
sports
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professionals can earn great revenues is totally justified based on what they lose.
This
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is because they are determined to compete in order to become the leading
sports
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individuals which offers them better environments and opportunities to make
profits
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.
Furthermore
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, to have these privileges, they have to sacrifice numerous opportunities in their studies,
in other words
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, they risk their lives to obtain outstanding achievements.
Hence
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, all that they gain is absolutely satisfactory.
On the other hand
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, objectors indicate that
sports
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are not that important to spend a great amount of
money
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on professional
athletes
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. To clarify,
sports
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compared with other scientific and academic areas seem less significant and helpful in accelerating and maintaining
overall
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human progress.
This
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point may be true,
however
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they are a little irrelevant.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that
athletes
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do not contribute to the development of societies, but the
money
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they make is a result of their attempts, regardless of how meaningful their careers are to societies. From my perspective, there should be no argument against the
athletes
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about their legal
money
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because they are smart. To make
this
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clear, they gain more
money
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than others in important professions as they fully know and understand how to maximize their
profits
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.
For instance
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, many people can effortlessly name Lebron James or Kobe Bryan as prominent
athletes
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, who make a lot of
money
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;
this
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can be explained that they are proactive in approaching social media which can polish their reputation in order to expand sources of
profits
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for them.
Therefore
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, their
profits
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are totally legal. In conclusion, renowned
athletes
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earn greater incomes than important professionals is not unfair because of what they sacrifice and their wisdom. Ultimately, any arguments against them are partly short-sighted and envious.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main point in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position right away.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to connect your ideas better and improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your points. This helps to make your argument stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You have a clear viewpoint, and you provide a good balance of both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your use of examples from well-known athletes shows you understand the topic well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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