Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

There has been an ongoing debate about whether well-known

athletes

Use synonyms

earn more income than people who work in crucial positions reasonably or not. I firmly believe that

although

Linking Words

both sides show some truth, I have reason to explain why it is fully justified. On the one hand, successful

sports

Use synonyms

professionals can earn great revenues is totally justified based on what they lose.

This

Linking Words

is because they are determined to compete in order to become the leading

sports

Use synonyms

individuals which offers them better environments and opportunities to make

profits

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, to have these privileges, they have to sacrifice numerous opportunities in their studies,

in other words

Linking Words

, they risk their lives to obtain outstanding achievements.

Hence

Linking Words

, all that they gain is absolutely satisfactory.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, objectors indicate that

sports

Use synonyms

are not that important to spend a great amount of

money

Use synonyms

on professional

athletes

Use synonyms

. To clarify,

sports

Use synonyms

compared with other scientific and academic areas seem less significant and helpful in accelerating and maintaining

overall

Linking Words

human progress.

This

Linking Words

point may be true,

however

Linking Words

they are a little irrelevant.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that

athletes

Use synonyms

do not contribute to the development of societies, but the

money

Use synonyms

they make is a result of their attempts, regardless of how meaningful their careers are to societies. From my perspective, there should be no argument against the

athletes

Use synonyms

about their legal

money

Use synonyms

because they are smart. To make

this

Linking Words

clear, they gain more

money

Use synonyms

than others in important professions as they fully know and understand how to maximize their

profits

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, many people can effortlessly name Lebron James or Kobe Bryan as prominent

athletes

Use synonyms

, who make a lot of

money

Use synonyms

;

this

Linking Words

can be explained that they are proactive in approaching social media which can polish their reputation in order to expand sources of

profits

Use synonyms

for them.

Therefore

Linking Words

, their

profits

Use synonyms

are totally legal. In conclusion, renowned

athletes

Use synonyms

earn greater incomes than important professionals is not unfair because of what they sacrifice and their wisdom. Ultimately, any arguments against them are partly short-sighted and envious.

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your main point in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position right away.

coherence and cohesion

Use more linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to connect your ideas better and improve flow.

task achievement

Provide more examples to support your points. This helps to make your argument stronger and clearer.

task achievement

You have a clear viewpoint, and you provide a good balance of both sides of the argument.

task achievement

Your use of examples from well-known athletes shows you understand the topic well.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between rich and poor. To what extend do you agree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of the society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion