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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the data on the number of visitors to various clubs at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia, over the time period between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, all types of activities have
participants
Use synonyms
 at the start of the period, except for the musical
club
Use synonyms
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 time range, only table tennis and music performances grew. The film and arts clubs fluctuated until 2020
,
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apply
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and started with 64 and 38
participants
Use synonyms
, respectively.
At
Change preposition
In
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 2005 music
club
Use synonyms
 opened and by 2005 already had 10 visitors.
This
Linking Words
 growth continued over the period. In 2015
also
Linking Words
 gained above 6
participants
Use synonyms
 and
at the end
Linking Words
 of
term
Correct article usage
the term
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 they reached
point
Add an article
the point
a point
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 of 20. The drama and ping-pong clubs faced little increase in 2005 by 2
participants
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in the
followed
Replace the word
following
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 5 years,
ameteur
Correct your spelling
amateur
 dramatics declined in numbers and
tennis
Correct article usage
the tennis
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club
Use synonyms
 stayed stable. So in 2010 they
equilised
Correct your spelling
equalised
, starting from
this
Linking Words
 point
drama
Correct article usage
the drama
show examples
club
Use synonyms
modertely
Correct your spelling
moderately
 decreased and the table tennis
club
Use synonyms
 surged and
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
 the high of 52 visitors.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, club with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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