IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

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Social
media
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 has become an integral part of modern life, enabling people to stay connected and informed in
real-time
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real time
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.
While
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 it offers undeniable benefits
such
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 as global
communication
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 and immediate access to news, there are
also
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 significant concerns surrounding privacy issues, mental
health
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, and misinformation. Despite these drawbacks, I believe that the advantages of social
media
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 outweigh the disadvantages, provided
users
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 use these
platforms
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 responsibly. One of the most significant advantages of social
media
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 is its ability to facilitate
communication
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, especially for individuals who are geographically separated.
Platforms
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such
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 as Facebook, WhatsApp, and Instagram allow
users
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 to maintain close relationships with family, friends, and colleagues through instant messaging, video calls, and shared content.
For example
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, a person living abroad can easily stay in touch with loved ones by sending quick messages or video chatting, helping reduce
the
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apply
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feelings of isolation.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 offers access to real-time news and global events, allowing people to stay informed about important happenings, from political changes to natural disasters. During the Arab Spring in 2011,
for instance
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, social
media
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 played a pivotal role in spreading awareness and organizing protests, demonstrating its power in facilitating both personal and societal
communication
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.
Additionally
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, social
media
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 provides valuable networking opportunities, especially for professionals seeking career advancements.
Platforms
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 like LinkedIn enable individuals to connect with potential employers, find job opportunities, and promote their skills to a broader audience.
However
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, there are several notable disadvantages of social
media
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 that cannot be overlooked. Privacy concerns are among the most pressing issues, as personal
information
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 shared online can be exploited or sold to third parties without
users
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' consent. A prime example of
this
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 was the Facebook-Cambridge Analytica scandal, where millions of
users
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' data were harvested and used for political purposes.
Such
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 incidents have raised serious questions about the safety of personal data on social
media
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platforms
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.
Moreover
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, excessive use of social
media
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 can negatively impact mental
health
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, particularly among younger
users
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. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to curated, idealized images can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
For example
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, teenagers who spend hours on Instagram comparing themselves to influencers often experience higher levels of anxiety and depression.
Additionally
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, social
media
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 can spread misinformation quickly, contributing to public confusion and harm. During the COVID-19 pandemic, false claims about cures and preventive measures circulated widely on
platforms
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 like Facebook and Twitter, leading some people to make harmful
health
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 decisions based on incorrect
information
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. In conclusion,
while
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 social
media
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 presents significant challenges, particularly in terms of privacy, mental
health
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, and the spread of misinformation, the benefits it offers in terms of
communication
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, access to
information
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, and career opportunities cannot be ignored. I firmly believe that the advantages of social
media
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 outweigh the disadvantages, provided that
users
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 approach these
platforms
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 with caution and
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platforms
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that platforms
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 themselves take responsibility for safeguarding user data and combating false
information
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. With proper regulation and awareness, the positive aspects of social
media
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 can continue to enrich society
while
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 minimizing its risks.

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Task Achievement
Expand on how social media can impact relationships (both positively and negatively) and perhaps contrast these effects with traditional communication methods.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance fluency and avoid repetition, particularly in examples.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clearly defined argument that thoroughly supports the position taken.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the Arab Spring and the Facebook-Cambridge Analytica scandal, strengthens your points significantly.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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