Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? (S)

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Many processed food and beverage products consist of high amounts of sugar, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes

It seems that the verb cause does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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serious health issues. Some state that increasing
price
Correct article usage
the price

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of unhealthy
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities

It seems that commodity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is a key factor to avoid buying them.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay agrees that
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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approach can be useful,it debates that better alternative methods exist. In
favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of
first
Change the article
the first

It appears that the phrase first view does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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view, if harmful products are expensive it could prevent customers
to purchase
Change preposition
from purchasing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

step can be shown as
restriction
Correct article usage
a restriction

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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whereas
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it is upside for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's health .Owing
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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health is the most necessary matter for the world, it must kept in attention.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, rising price hinders low-income individuals
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they still struggle with high prices. Even they are discouraged 
to buy
Change preposition
from buying

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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healthy goods .
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, manufacturers could decrease
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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amount of ones in place of wholly raising costs.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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sales
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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high
Replace the word
highly

The word high doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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sugary products must be blocked because it leads to
spreading
Correct article usage
the spreading

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Change preposition
of diabet
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Change preposition
of diabet

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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diabet
Correct your spelling
diabetes
diseases among
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some advertisements that display appealing features
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of adverse aspects can be limited not to attract consumers. Among
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
ones
Correct article usage
the ones

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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that tend to consume
damage
Replace the word
damaged

The word damage doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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items are children, so parents must fully focus on their kids to avoid consuming them ,
because of protecting
Change preposition
to protect

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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from
Correct pronoun usage
them from

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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illness at earlier ages .
Otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can give homemade pure fruit drinks. Another point is
awareness
Add an article
the awareness
an awareness

The noun phrase awareness seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that it leads to serious problems
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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everyone. In schools, educational lessons may explain
pupils
Change preposition
to pupils

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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damaging
Correct article usage
the damaging

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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effects
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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,
even
Correct word choice
and even

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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TV programs,social media are useful
to expand
Change preposition
in expanding

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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information to aware
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

making sugary commodities expensive can decrease consuming of them, alternative steps
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as educational training,
regulations
Correct word choice
and regulations

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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on advertisements should be
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

taken to combat
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure each idea is fully developed and linked to the thesis.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, such as statistics or studies related to sugar consumption and health effects.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with language accuracy; ensure grammatical structures are used correctly to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance on the issue, stating that there are better alternatives than simply increasing prices.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your main argument and reflects on the points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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