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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The three pie charts illustrate how the annual spending of a particular UK school changed in 1981, 1991, and 2001. The data is divided into five categories:
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
, other
workers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
,
resources
Use synonyms
 (e.g., books),
furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
, and
insurance
Use synonyms
. 
Overall
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 consistently accounted for the largest portion of the budget across all three years.
However
Linking Words
, spending on
furniture
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
equipment
Use synonyms
 and
insurance
Use synonyms
 increased significantly over time,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage allocated to other
workers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 and
resources
Use synonyms
 decreased.  In 1981,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 made up the highest percentage of school spending at 40%, which increased to 50% by 1991. At the same time, other
workers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 declined from 28% to 22%. Meanwhile,
resources
Use synonyms
 saw a slight rise from 15% to 20%,
whereas
Linking Words
 spending on
furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
 dropped significantly from 15% to only 5%.
Insurance
Use synonyms
 accounted for the smallest share, rising slightly from 2% to 3%.  By 2001,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly to 45%,
while
Linking Words
 spending on other
workers
Use synonyms
'
salaries
Use synonyms
 continued to fall, reaching 15%. A significant change was observed in
furniture
Use synonyms
 and
equipment
Use synonyms
, which rose dramatically to 23%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
resources
Use synonyms
 dropped to 9%.
Insurance
Use synonyms
 spending experienced the highest relative growth, increasing to 8% of the total budget.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers, salaries, workers, resources, furniture, equipment, insurance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Annual spending
  • Expenditure categories
  • Allocation
  • Trend analysis
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Budget allocation strategy
  • Inflation-adjusted
  • Future implications
  • Educational institutions
  • Technological resources
  • Maintenance and operations
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fiscal management
  • Resource allocation
  • Strategic planning
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