IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, the most common way for companies to promote their products is through advertising. How has this affected consumers? Has this been a positive or negative trend?

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While
Linking Words
 their widespread strategy is a result of competition among businesses, it may
also
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 cause the excessive production of misleading
products
Use synonyms
. To stay competitive, businesses prefer to choose
this
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 innovation
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to increased responsibility for companies regarding the expectations of buyers.
Additionally
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, it can improve the quality and durability of
products
Use synonyms
.
Example
Change preposition
For example
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: for a long time, Apple
takes
Wrong verb form
has taken
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 into account the wishes of its customers, and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 its sales year after year. In spite of the positive effects,
this
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 trend has negative aspects. Many companies produce new generations of the same
products
Use synonyms
 by making small changes. Deceived buyers want to buy “new”
products
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
without
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 knowing it.
Example
Change preposition
For example
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: parents may buy several of the same toy cars believing they will have different functions.
Tu
Correct your spelling
To
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 sum up, it seems that businesses need to use the right strategy without exaggeration.
This
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 will allow them to remain competitive and chosen by buyers for a long time.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly related to the topic, which will help improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points, as this will enhance the relevance and effectiveness of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion to summarize your main points more explicitly and relate them to the overall argument about advertising's effects on consumers.
task achievement
You have highlighted both positive and negative aspects of advertising, which is important for a balanced analysis.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the reference to Apple, helps in illustrating your points, though they can be elaborated further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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