IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people are concerned about experimenting on animals and want to impose a ban on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 practice.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many believe it is required for
scientfic
Correct your spelling
scientific

If you don’t want scientfic to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

innovations.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 there might be some alternatives emerging, I contend that
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun experimentation in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
limited experimentation with
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 approach is imperative for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
modern research. Humankind has made remarkable progress in scientific and medical fields in
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

last
Correct article usage
the last

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 two centuries and animal tests have been a major contributor to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 progress.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all new medicines are first tried on rats and monkeys to test their efficacy before they are tested on humans.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, flu injections were first applied to monkeys to measure and analyse the results. These trials on animals have enabled significant progress in medical science, saving countless human lives.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, critics oppose it citing
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty

If you don’t want cruelity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 innocent mammals, who are brought from their natural habitat and put in cages for studies. A few of them suffer from
unintendend
Correct your spelling
unintended

If you don’t want unintendend to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

consequences or side effects of these assays. There are a few
alterate
Correct your spelling
alternative

If you don’t want alterate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

options emerging
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as computer modelling, which models the results of the assays with the usage of advanced algorithms.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these
softwares
Correct your spelling
software

If you don’t want softwares to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have not yet proven to demonstrate promising results, indicating they need to be refined
futher
Correct your spelling
further

If you don’t want futher to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to replace the traditional methodologies.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the ethical concerns raised by people are valid and genuine, and I believe animals should be used in a humane and emphatic way for scientific studies until more practical alternatives emerge.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your position regarding animal experimentation more explicitly.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples are relevant and thoroughly explained to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify the conclusion to succinctly summarize your stance and possibly suggest steps moving forward.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as flu injections tested on monkeys, supports your argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context for the discussion, engaging the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: