In recent years, many countries have become extremely concerned about the increase in crimes committed by young people. Tough measures and strict punishments are necessary to stop youths from re-offending. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Number
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The number
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of
crimes
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done
Verb problem
committed
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by youth increasing and
becomes
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has become
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the
Correct article usage
a
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major concern
of
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in
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many nations, nowadays. It is believed by some people, that to combat
this
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issue, the government should take measures and give strict punishments to stop
such
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mishappings. I
am fully agree
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fully agree
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with
this
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notion, in
this
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essay, I will explore,
that
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apply
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why taking
right
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the right
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steps and
give
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giving
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punishment is necessary in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, there are so many other ways to solve
this
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problem. In
first
Add an article
the first
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place, the higher authority should organize awareness campaigns. To explain, when the authorities try to organize an event to guide
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation that how committing
crimes
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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danger
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dangerous
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for
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to
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their mental and physical health, it helps youth to understand what is right and what is wrong for them.
For example
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,
Delhi
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the Delhi
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government organized an event for young people and
tell
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told
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them,
that
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apply
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how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crimes
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happened on
daily
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a daily
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basis and how they attracted the youth
for committing
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to commit
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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crimes
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, children
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
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about
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of
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the
crimes
Use synonyms
. Considering the aforementioned paragraph,
secondly
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,hefty penalties should be taken. To explore, because of fine, people think twice before doing any crime and they should teach their children as well.
Moreover
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, the authorities should give strict punishments to guilty ones so that other person can
also
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learn from their mistakes.
Hence
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, it is a good way to resolve the problem. In conclusion, I believe that taking necessary steps
on
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at
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the right time can aid
to solve
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in solving
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the issue
such
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as awareness camps, penalties, strict punishment, and many more.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to include a counterargument and address it in your essay for a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas by using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'moreover', to connect your points more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction by stating that you agree with the need for tougher measures more explicitly.
Task Achievement
Elaborate more on your examples to enhance their relevance and connection to your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear position in your essay and maintained it throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, demonstrating your understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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