Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

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Nowadays, some individuals think that our

happiness

Use synonyms

relies on the amount of

money

Use synonyms

we have,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

money

Use synonyms

cannot buy

happiness

Use synonyms

. I firmly believe that

money

Use synonyms

Associate

Wrong verb form

associated

show examples

with

happiness

Use synonyms

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

it can buy you

Remove the article

apply

show examples

peace of mind, and remove the stress about

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

your need

meets

Wrong verb form

met

show examples

every month. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss

this

Linking Words

matter in detail.

To begin

Linking Words

with, having

money

Use synonyms

is vital to have

decent

Add an article

a decent

show examples

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, to have the best healthcare, education,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

houses...etc, you

are require

Change the verb form

are required

show examples

to have at

less

Replace the word

least

show examples

6 figure income.

Moreover

Linking Words

, poor people are facing

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

difficult challenges in every aspect of their

life

Use synonyms

, when it comes to living in unsafe neighborhoods, cannot afford healthcare, and the low quality of education in poor

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

. As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

money

Use synonyms

can make

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

easier and happier, and avoid hardship that lack of resources

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

to anyone's

life

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, owning

decent

Correct article usage

a decent

show examples

amount of

money

Use synonyms

can release you from stressing out about

money

Use synonyms

every month.

For instance

Linking Words

, people with low incomes

are always stress

Change the verb form

are always stressed

are always stressing

show examples

out, because they are fearing to lose their job

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in our current

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, the price of basic like rent,

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

and

utilites

Correct your spelling

utilities

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

been rising in

resent

Correct your spelling

recent

show examples

years.

Therefore

Linking Words

, stressing out the fear of losing basic

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

will

made

Change the verb form

make

show examples

any person more depressed. In conclusion,

money

Use synonyms

is important to have a good

life

Use synonyms

without stress out about making your

end

Fix the agreement mistake

ends

show examples

meets

Correct subject-verb agreement

meet

show examples

, and have the best things that

life

Use synonyms

can offer to you. I think

money

Use synonyms

is essential for good mental health and

happiness

Use synonyms

neamaabdo90Fri Mar 28 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are developed with adequate detail and provide examples that clearly illustrate your points in order to enhance clarity and depth.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay and enhance the connections between your ideas.

task achievement

The introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on it, which sets a clear direction for the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a good awareness of the importance of money in relation to happiness, showcasing a relevant perspective.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some country pay extremely high salaries for people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that governments should legalize the use of torture in extreme cases, such as terrorism or national security threats. To what extent do you agree or disagree?