IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the causes people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing?”

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In the prevailing era, physical appearance has become a notable part of the body.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
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of
Change preposition
apply
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people try different ways to look like they are younger.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only discuss
causative
Correct article usage
the causative
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 factors behind
this
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 scenario but
also
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 provide my viewpoint. I think it is a positive trend that helps
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to keep
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 healthy and fit. Commencing with the most salient reason why individuals have become more conscious towards their age is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
personal insecurity. Some
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are afraid of getting old. They think that if they become old, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 die soon.
That is
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 the reason they use tremendous cosmetic products to make their look
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
younger.
Besides
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, looking younger can help to find their soulmate. Some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 visit many places,
such
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 as pubs, clubs, and many more and they can find their partner easily in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 places if they look
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon brings many benefits to every human.
Firsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, mankind
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become more
health
Use synonyms
 conscious.
Eathing
Correct your spelling
Eating
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
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 food,
such
Linking Words
 as fruits,
vegetabls
Correct your spelling
vegetables
, and nuts has become a habit among them. They are more likely to avoid junk foods that
deleterious
Add a missing verb
are deleterious
show examples
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
health
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, countless problems have been eliminated,
such
Linking Words
 as obesity,
cardiovascular
Correct word choice
and cardiovascular
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 diseases.
To Conclude
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, there are two main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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 looking younger than their age, one is fear
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting old and the second is to
finding
Change the verb
find
show examples
 their partner. I
comtemplate
Correct your spelling
contemplate
contemplated
 that it is not a pervasive trend that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to remain
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 in their life.

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grammar
Make sure to use accurate articles and quantifiers; for example, 'the most of people' should be 'most people.' Also, check sentence structure and grammar for clarity.
examples
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and enhance the clarity of ideas presented.
organization
Improve the organization of ideas; each paragraph should clearly relate back to the main topic and contain a single focus.
content
You provided a personal viewpoint, which enhances the essay's emotional connection and engagement.
structure
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and gives the reader an idea of what to expect in the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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