In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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It is irrefutable true,that the trend of online
payment
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is increasing today. Most population prefer to use mobile apps to pay for their goods and services. The upcoming paragraphs will deliberate the advantages of online payments. To commence, with the benefits of online payments first and foremost it increases the safety level. To elaborate, when
people
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pay for their
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
with credit or debit
cards
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which are saved in their wallets on mobiles
then
Linking Words
they do not need to take money as cash or physical
cards
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along with
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them so it reduces the chances of stolen money or
cards
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as they have access of online banking via apps in mobile phones.
As a result
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,
people
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can move freely without any stress or burden they can enjoy more and even spend more as they have
a huge chunks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge chunk
huge chunks
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of money in their
cards
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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can do online shopping by paying through phones.To explain, some shopping apps
such
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as Amazon and Flipkart require
payment
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in advance for
byu
Correct your spelling
buying
anything from there as there is no cash option so if
people
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want to purchase any product from there
then
Linking Words
they need to do
e transfer
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e-transfer
show examples
. To cite an example the Myntra website states that 80 per cent of sales of
Shein
Correct article usage
the Shein
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app depend on online
payment
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only.
Hence
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by using
this
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online
payment
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method
people
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are not only saving time But
also
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utilise
this
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time to do something more productive . To recapitulate, paying through mobile phones makes
Change noun form
people's
show examples
people
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lives more convenient
as well as
Linking Words
it
also
Linking Words
better on a security basis
along with
Linking Words
online shopping

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking phrases to improve the flow of your arguments and paragraphs (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion').
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more depth and clarity. Some points, while relevant, could be explained further to enhance understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. Even small mistakes can affect the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly identified some key advantages of mobile payments, such as increased safety and convenience.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like Amazon and Myntra, supports your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
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