IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. Other people are not interested in it saying it’s boring Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In some countries, there is an increase in the number of
people
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being
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apply
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interested in the
history
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 of their accommodations,
while
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 others are not keen to know as it is boring.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and explain why I am not interested in my own house's
history
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 as well. On the one hand, some
people
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 might think that historical stories of their
places
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 can affect their
prices
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. The valuable
history
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 of many
places
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 can be published in order to make the
places
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 more attractive, leading to higher
prices
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.
For instance
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, if a house was owned by famous persons
such
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 as superstars or presidents, it would become more interesting.
This
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 could eventually be a reason to mark up its price.
However
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, I believe that the effect of a historical story is weaker than other elements.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 say that it is not an attractive aspect to learn about the
history
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 of their residences because there are many other contributors to be prioritized
such
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 as location, functions, and decorations which directly impact
on
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apply
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prices
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. It is undeniable that the value of properties is one of the key factors considered when
people
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 buy or invest.
For example
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, accommodations located in
cities
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city
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centers
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centres
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 are more expensive than buildings in other areas. The probability of the growth of
prices
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 is
also
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 higher.
Therefore
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, individuals focus more on that point rather than the
history
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. In conclusion,
while
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 many
people
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 are currently interested in their houses' or buildings'
history
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 because it can be one reason to increase their
places
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'
prices
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, others do not think in the same way since there are other aspects
strongly
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that strongly
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influence
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influence them
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. I
also
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 believe that the
history
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 is boring and we should emphasize other factors.

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task response
The introduction could be improved by clearly outlining the main points to be discussed in the essay. Consider briefly mentioning both perspectives and your opinion for clarity.
coherence cohesion
When discussing both views, try to ensure balanced coverage. The second viewpoint, while explained, could benefit from slightly more elaboration to match the first. This way, readers will understand both sides equally well.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterating your opinion along with a brief summary of the key points discussed would strengthen the overall impact of your essay.
task response
The essay presents a clear argument and effectively discusses both perspectives on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task response
The use of examples, especially regarding how historical significance can affect property prices, effectively supports your points and makes the arguments more relatable.
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