IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

more and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. Why? What can we do to encourage this?

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There is debate over why
people
Use synonyms
 starting to eat healthy food, make it so popular, and enhance the aesthetic of sports and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle. Nowadays more than ninety
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networks, where they always can see many videos where individuals describe
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their day, what they
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do, and in
this
Linking Words
 video content makers add recipes
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 healthy food and how they
went
Wrong verb form
go
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 to
gym
Add an article
the gym
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, and after
show
Change the verb form
showing
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 their strong, attractive and slender body,
human
Add an article
a human
the human
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 who
watch
Change the verb form
watches
show examples
this
Linking Words
 video start to like
this
Linking Words
 kind of life and try to strive for a similar way of living.
For encouraging
Change preposition
Encouraging
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to be healthy can start from school where children should be explained the dangers of obesity and how to avoid it.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 talk about diets and the fact that children should reduce their consumption of junk foods.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
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also
Linking Words
 can add
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
 or make a discount for
people
Use synonyms
 who invite their friends or relatives to go to the gym to do sports. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can say that social networks play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role for to spread and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's interest in sports and the desire to strive for an aesthetic life, which is broadcast by social networks.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. A clearer thesis statement will help guide your reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, use 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific social media platforms or campaigns that promote healthy living.
task achievement
You have identified a relevant issue regarding health and fitness trends influenced by social media, which is a timely and relatable topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main thoughts and connects back to the introduction, demonstrating some cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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