The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, online shopping has become increasingly popular, offering people the convenience of shopping from the comfort of their homes
instead
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of spending hours visiting stores.
While
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some argue that
this
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trend could lead to
decline
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the decline
a decline
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of
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in
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local
businessness
Correct your spelling
businesses
, I partially agree with
this
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perspective and will discuss both sides in the following paragraphs. Online shopping is often preferred
due to
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its flexibility. Shoppers can browse and purchase at any time without any restrictions on location.
Also
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, you have several options available with just one click.
Furthermore
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, attractive discounts on your favourite products seem like a cherry on the cake. There is no need to go out and deal with multiple shopkeepers to explain your requirements. When delivery is at your doorstep, no one wants to step outside of their home. On top of
this
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, a return policy within
the
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a
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particular time frame is always available. If there
is
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are
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any issues with size,
quality
Correct word choice
or quality
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or simply you don’t like the product, you just to have press the return option without providing any justification.
However
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, online shopping
also
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comes with its cons. The Major one is its delivery time. In case of urgency, it is not suitable to rely on online shopping. Shopping from the store is the only option.
Also
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, shopping is considered a pleasure activity to uplift your mood and definitely online shopping does not fulfil that
desires
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desire
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. Shopping from e-commerce sites is not preferred by all age groups.
For instance
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, Shopping from local stores is preferred by my mother who
think
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thinks
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e-commerce shopping is not a good idea. In conclusion,
while
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online shopping offers unmatched convenience and savings, traditional shopping remains relevant for those who value immediate access to products and the social aspects of shopping. Both methods have their unique advantages, ensuring that physical stores will continue to thrive alongside the growth of e-commerce.

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task achievement
Your introduction partially states your viewpoint, but could be strengthened by expressing a clearer stance. Consider rephrasing to explicitly convey whether you lean more towards supporting or opposing the idea.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, while you present good arguments for both sides, some points could benefit from further development. For example, provide more details about how local businesses can adapt to the rise of online shopping.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'businessness' which should be 'businesses' and 'the Major one' should be 'The major one'. These can affect your score on coherence.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. For instance, you can use 'however', 'moreover', or 'conversely' to create a smoother flow between arguments.
task achievement
You presented key arguments both for and against online shopping, demonstrating an understanding of the topic from multiple perspectives, which enhances the complexity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The concluding statement effectively summarizes your arguments and presents a balanced view of the topic, reinforcing the idea that both online and physical shopping have their benefits.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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