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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the number of male and female people arrested by type of offence (crime). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The bar chart shows the number of male and female people arrested by type of offence (crime). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The chart illustrates the proportion of criminal
offences
Use synonyms
 committed by
men
Use synonyms
 and women in 2008/2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, violence against a person and theft or handling stolen items were the most common
crimes
Use synonyms
 among both genders,
while
Linking Words
robbery
Use synonyms
 was the least committed offence.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, females engaged more in certain
crimes
Use synonyms
, with violence against a person being the most frequent at around 33%, followed closely by theft or handling stolen goods at approximately 31%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, about 31% of
men
Use synonyms
 committed violent
crimes
Use synonyms
, but only 20% were involved in theft-related
offences
Use synonyms
. Regarding other criminal
offences
Use synonyms
, 15% of
men
Use synonyms
 committed
crimes
Use synonyms
 classified under "other
offences
Use synonyms
,"
whereas
Linking Words
 only 13% of women were involved in
such
Linking Words
 activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 were more likely to commit criminal damage, drug
offences
Use synonyms
, burglary, and
robbery
Use synonyms
, with both genders recording 10% or lower in these categories.
Robbery
Use synonyms
 and fraud/forgery were the least common
crimes
Use synonyms
 among
men
Use synonyms
, standing at 3%,
while
Linking Words
 approximately 2% of women committed
robbery
Use synonyms
, and 4% engaged in fraud and forgery.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words offences, men, crimes, robbery with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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