Some people believe that studying at the university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people claim that a
university
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degree is the superior pathway to a successful
career
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,
while
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others argue that working after
school
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is the best alternative. I strongly believe that
university
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graduates are more likely to succeed in their careers.
University
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education plays a vital role in building a successful
career
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. Nowadays, the job market is very competitive, and companies want applicants with specific knowledge and skills.
This
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need can only be met by taking specialised courses, which are only available at universities. Doctors and engineers,
for example
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, are two of the most prominent careers that can only be pursued after graduating from
university
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due to
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the requirement for in-depth knowledge and extended internship training in order to be successful in these professions.
On the other hand
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, many people find it appealing
to begin
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working immediately after
school
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. A large number of young individuals are eager to start making money as soon as possible in order to accelerate their
career
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growth.
However
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, the majority of jobs available after high
school
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do not require specialised skills or work experience and offer a low wage.
For example
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, food delivery jobs are readily accessible for everyone after
school
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, but they do not lead to a promising
career
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. In my opinion, it is better for individuals to continue their education after high
school
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. Students who get a
university
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degree in a specialised field often find themselves in a better position to secure well-paying jobs.
Moreover
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, they may choose to work a part-time job after high
school
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to obtain real-life work experience
while
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still earning money for their future education. In conclusion, universities provide courses with specialisation, which makes students more competitive in the job market and contributes to a successful
career
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,
while
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employment following high
school
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is low-paying and offers less opportunity for growth.

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with additional examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the introduction and conclusion by summarizing key arguments in a more impactful way or by reiterating the main opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Organize paragraphs more distinctly by possibly expanding on the implications of each viewpoint to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, supporting the viewpoint that university education is beneficial for career success.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the need for specialized skills in professions like medicine and engineering, effectively illustrate the importance of university education.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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