Some businesses now say that no-one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Smoking in government sites should be prohibited as it can lead to serious health injuries
as well as
Linking Words
it
protect
Change the verb form
protects
show examples
young generations from serious repercussions. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and will explain my reasons in the subsequent paragraphs. One of the primary reasons
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why permanently banning
cigarattes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
is beneficial is that it harms human health.
This
Linking Words
is because there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
plenty of carcinogenic substances
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
released from the fumes, when individuals inhale those, it can leave a permanent scarring of their lung tissues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
futher
Correct your spelling
further
leads to altering a
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
DNA thereby, causing mutations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, restrictions
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
Linking Words
substances will prevent people from abusing them entirely.
For instance
Linking Words
, it was reported that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there was a decrease in
Correct article usage
the prevelance
show examples
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
of lung carcinoma in Norway when shops decided to stop selling
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
electronic cigarettes.
Additionally
Linking Words
, youth can be protected from serious
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
from smoking by
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
ban in government institutions.
This
Linking Words
means that predisposition from a young age to those elements can leave a negative impact on their perception towards any form of
cigarattes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
.
Such
Linking Words
as, they might think that it is acceptable and in turn, can encourage them to pick on bad habits.
Thus
Linking Words
, restricting from government agencies will discourage pupils and will help burden them in viewing smoking as something intolerable
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society or their peers. In a nutshell, it can be reiterated that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are numerous health hazards related to smoking
as well as
Linking Words
avoiding it completely protects young individuals from serious outcomes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor spelling mistakes such as 'cigarattes' and 'prevelance'.
Content
Expand on your main points with more examples or explanations to enhance clarity and depth.
Coherence
Consider rephrasing sentences for more fluidity and coherence, ensuring that there is a smooth flow of ideas between paragraphs.
Structure
You clearly state your agreement with the topic and provide a well-structured introduction.
Content
Your essay addresses important health issues related to smoking, which is relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • fire hazards
  • environmental advantages
  • aesthetics
  • non-smokers
  • personal freedom
  • well-being
  • smoking bans
What to do next:
Look at other essays: