You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter:

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dear Manager, I hope you are doing well, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to bring

your

Change preposition

to your

show examples

attention that somebody informed us

yestered

Correct your spelling

yesterday

pestered

that

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

now we are

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

longer possible to use the

hall

Use synonyms

for our music

practices

Fix the agreement mistake

practice

show examples

. My name is Sandeep and my musician group name is "

star

Capitalize word

Star

show examples

Shine"

Capitalize word

show examples

registered ourselves

Change preposition

show examples

15 May 2024 to use the community

hall

Use synonyms

for

practice

Use synonyms

and we are happy that we are using the

hall

Use synonyms

services on weekends without any hurdals. It was shocking news for all of us that suddenly we

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

are not

Rewrite the sentence

are not allow to use the hall any

are allow to use the hall no

show examples

allow

Change the form of the verb

allowed

show examples

to use the

hall

Use synonyms

no more. Could you please tell us the reason for

this

Linking Words

decesion

Correct your spelling

decision

Change the punctuation

show examples

As you know we

hadn't

Wrong verb form

haven't

show examples

recieved

Correct your spelling

received

any complaints from others even

they

Correct word choice

though they

show examples

all enjoyed and

appricate

Correct your spelling

appreciate

appreciated

the group. If you share your

your

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

problem with us we will get

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

soultion

Correct your spelling

solution

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. I hope you

coperate

Correct your spelling

cooperate

with us and find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

solution of it so that we can continue our

practice

Use synonyms

at your community

hall

Use synonyms

as you know that there is

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

local palace near to us where we do

practice

Use synonyms

. I would request to discuss our matter with your

managent

Correct your spelling

management

manager

and request them to allow

Change the pronoun

our

show examples

Use synonyms

practice

Add the particle

to practice

show examples

Use synonyms

hall

Add an article

the hall

show examples

waiting for your positive reply on it.

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

Sincerely, Sandeep

sandeepkaur12pandherSun Mar 30 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your letter has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas more logically.

task achievement

Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors. Words like 'yestered,' 'decesion,' and 'hurdals' can impact the clarity of your message.

task achievement

Try to maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. Expressions like 'hoping you are doing well' can be rephrased to sound more formal, such as 'I hope this letter finds you well.'

task achievement

You clearly stated the issue and provided details about your group, which is important for context.

task achievement

Your letter conveys a respectful tone and willingness to communicate, which is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

212 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

appreciation
importance
clarification
alternative solutions
scheduling adjustments
positive impact
community
potential benefits
discussion
request

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, there is high levels of sugar in many manufactured food and drink products. This trend will lead to many health problems. Some companies start improving the price of products to decrease the willingness to buy these products. In my opinion, I agree with this point. I believe that it is one of the most important ways to help people control sugar.
6
band
Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The allocation of significant financial resources by both governments and individuals towards the protection of animals and their habitats has sparked a debate on whether these funds could be more effectively utilized to address fundamental societal issues like poverty and healthcare. In the following, I will elaborate more on why I believe that.
7
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Several people assume that it is better to agree on a wrong circumstance, for example, a disappointing occupation or a low salary. Some argue that it is superior to try and enhance such conditions. This essay will partially agree and give both views in this statement.
6.5
band
Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often agreed that people can acquire a great deal of skills from team activities. Even if it does not appeal to me at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and I think that people also can be great skilful by Solely.
7.5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed contries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Developed states often help developing republics by suggesting financial aid or other types of help, however, it doesn't show any changes in these countries. Therefore, this essay prosecutes an idea to develop other forms of help, in transforming and building a new system for the developing regions.

You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter:

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. Do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed contries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?