IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A
galance
Correct your spelling
glance
balance
 at the line graph presented describes the comparison of fertility
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 between two countries which are
Chinas
Fix the agreement mistake
China
show examples
 and America in 8 decades from 1920 to 2000. In general, Both nations have gone through
Correct article usage
a flunction
show examples
flunction
Correct your spelling
function
functions
 in birth
rate
Use synonyms
, with
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 during the 1940s and
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 during the 1960s. Climbing from approximately 10
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1920 to 15
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1935, China's birth
rate
Use synonyms
 plunged to around 5
percent
Use synonyms
 in
1940s
Change the article
the 1940s
show examples
. After about 5 years of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steadiness
Add a comma
steadiness,
show examples
 it had rocketed to 20
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1950. The latter half of
century
Correct article usage
the century
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
, brought a downward trend in
this
Linking Words
 figure. The US birth
rate
Use synonyms
, meanwhile,
osillated
Correct your spelling
oscillated
 between 11 and 13 prior to 1940. After
that
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 declined to somewhere in the
viciniy
Correct your spelling
vicinity
 of 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1945, but it saw
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
show examples
 rose to reach a peak of 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the nest
show examples
nest
Correct your spelling
next
show examples
 5 years. in the next 5
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 it had a descending trend to reach about 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: