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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe the media should be allowed to publish private information about people, while others are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays,
media
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 is a hot topic in modern
life
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 . some
people
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 think that there is no problem with sharing personal
information
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 about other
people
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 publicly and the
media
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 should allow it .
While
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 others are against the belief . On one hand ,
people
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 who are with the belief have their own reasons.
Firstly
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 , The
media
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 are made to share your
life
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to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others and to put your
life
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 in the spotlight so they think that you should not hide your private
life
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 if you want to use the
media
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 .
Secondly
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 , You can see and read other
users
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users'
user's
show examples
information
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 so it is not fair to seek other
people
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's lives without letting them seek yours .
on the other hand
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 .
People
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 who are against the idea
also
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 have their own reasons.
Firstly
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 , You don't have the right to have other
people
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's private
information
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such
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 as their real name or where they live .
Secondly
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 , it is extremely peaceful when you have a secluded
life
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 without letting the public see it .
Moreover
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 , some of the online community might get your personal data and make use of it by stealing your identity and doing serval crimes with your name .
Finally
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 , if you had your personal
information
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such
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 as your address you would be an effortless target to criminals and stockers and that would put you in a dangerous place.
Last
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 but not least , in my opinion, i extremely agree with the idea of keeping your personal
information
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 to yourself and not publishing it to the news and it incredibly essential to be careful and to have a more private
life
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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your introduction by clearly stating both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
When using transition words (like 'firstly' and 'secondly'), ensure that they flow smoothly to enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points, which would strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You have identified some risks associated with sharing private information, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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