IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phones. Despite this, many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom. To what extent do you agree ar disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The approach of getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones is large
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 today's
students
Use synonyms
. Certain people,
however
Linking Words
, believe that it should be banned during class hours, I completely agree with the above-mentioned statement. First of all is the discipline.
Use synonyms
Classroom
Add an article
The classroom
show examples
 is a place where
students
Use synonyms
 learn the values of discipline. When they are trying to use the
phone
Use synonyms
 in the
classroom
Use synonyms
, it is totally opposite from the basic rules of the
classroom
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, They will not give any attention to the professor who is delivering the lecture. Losing focus is another reason for that. When they use mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 for study, they go on websites.
Although
Linking Words
 these websites educate them without any fee, but show some advertisements that are distractions for the learners. Apart from the advertisements, text messages and
phone
Use synonyms
 calls from the loved one, are
also
Linking Words
 a part of distraction.
To conclude
Linking Words
, nowadays, in spite of using the
phone
Use synonyms
 is popular among
students
Use synonyms
to study
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I still believe that it should be prohibited in the
classroom
Use synonyms
, as I mentioned in
this
Linking Words
 essay just to maintain discipline and improve the focus of
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
The introduction could be more explicitly structured to outline your main points. Consider briefly mentioning the reasons why mobile phones should be banned in the classroom.
improvement
The conclusion could summarize your main arguments more clearly and reinforce your position. Consider reiterating the importance of discipline and focus more strongly.
improvement
Try to develop your ideas more fully; for example, explain how distractions can affect learning outcomes. This will give your arguments greater depth.
improvement
Using more varied vocabulary could enhance the quality of your writing. For instance, instead of "loved one," you might say "friends or family."
strength
You have a clear opinion and maintain that throughout your essay, which is crucial for task achievement.
strength
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides reasons for your viewpoint, showing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: