IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encourage to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified worked such as electrians and plumbers. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Although
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,
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apply
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 society is looking for more skilled gangs everywhere posted for hiring fresher vocational training candidates as the community must be in favour side of
this
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, still some humans like to do their academic studies, to illustrate
i
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I
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 will give some reasons with examples in
this
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 essay to support vocational study.
Firstly
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,
students
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 will always have in their mind to get their college certification or convocation which is normal after school age.
However
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,
students
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 choose some time their skilled education perhaps parents may not allow them to do it because they think that skilled programs are not reputed education, for an instance in India after school pass out many job skill courses are available but those institutes are going to close because of the low reputation reason, causes in
india
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India
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its
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it's
it is
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 huge demanding for skill team like plumbers & electricians.
Secondly
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, Where skilled
workers
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 programs are encouraged like many countries given opportunity by providing vocational education
this
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 idea is the best way to decrease the demand for skilled
workers
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. Canada is calling skilled
workers
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 from different countries and adding more points for them to migrate to Canada
for example
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 drawback is
students
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 will get an opportunity to work in foreign countries, which will affect many families and will be happy with satisfying jobs and save some money for their future.
Finally
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, all the communities have the responsibility to support
such
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 as vocational study like plumbers, electricians, painters and
much
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many
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 more skilled employees that will increase the middle-class learning
students
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' values and erase the demands on vocational trainers
also
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 it will balance the
workers
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 based on their skill set.

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task achievement
Clarify the main thesis in the introduction, ensuring it clearly states your position on vocational training compared to academic study.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs by using clearer linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments about vocational training and skilled labor shortages.
topic relevance
You have recognized the importance of vocational training and the issue of skilled labor shortages, which is a relevant topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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