IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology adapt to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the prevailing era, most people complete daily tasks with the help of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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technology
Use synonyms
. Some people think that
technology
Use synonyms
 should be
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
show examples
 by mankind as it
weaks
Correct your spelling
weakens
 the cognitive growth of people and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 reckon that
technology
Use synonyms
 ought to
be modify
Change the verb form
modify
show examples
 the
technology
Use synonyms
 as it cannot deleterious the
grwth
Correct your spelling
growth
 of human
brian
Correct your spelling
brain
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only discuss both viewpoints but my opinion is
also
Linking Words
 highlighted
while
Linking Words
 concluding.

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introduction
Your introduction does present the topic, but it could be clearer and more engaging. Consider rephrasing to clearly state your position.
coherence
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical flow. Each paragraph should logically lead to the next to improve coherence.
examples
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your claims and make your essay more persuasive.
language
Check for minor grammatical errors, such as 'weaks' instead of 'weakens', and ensure correct wording throughout.
content
You have taken both sides of the discussion into account, which is important for a balanced essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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