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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Exposure to international
cuisine
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 can elicit varied responses from
consumers
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe it has a positive impact, others may oppose the idea. Personally, I strongly believe that the opportunity to experience international
cuisine
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 has enriched the lives of many individuals. On one hand, access to ingredients and dishes from different countries allows
people
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 to
savor
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savour
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foods
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 they discover online or on social media.
Additionally
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,
consumers
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 have the option to prepare their own home-cooked meals using these ingredients, tailoring them to their personal tastes.
For instance
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, surveys conducted in several countries reveal that many
people
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 are increasingly purchasing Korean food at the market, largely
due to
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 social media influence, and they find that making Korean dishes doesn't require exceptional culinary skills—it is quite simple.
Furthermore
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, consuming foreign
foods
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 available at supermarkets fosters a greater cultural appreciation for various culinary traditions.
This
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 exposure may
also
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 spark a desire among
consumers
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 to explore a country that aligns with their culinary preferences.
For example
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, in Indonesia, many supermarkets offer a wide range of Japanese
foods
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, from sushi to ramen.
As a result
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,
people
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 often develop an affinity for Japanese
cuisine
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, which in turn enhances their interest in visiting and immersing themselves in Japanese culture. In conclusion,
while
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 some argue that trying foreign
foods
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 available in supermarkets has negative repercussions for
consumers
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, I firmly believe it promotes positive growth. Experiencing international
cuisine
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 not only broadens
consumers
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' palates but
also
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 enhances their understanding of diverse cultures.

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Task Response
While your essay is logically structured, consider adding a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to articulate your position more explicitly. This helps guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
You might want to enhance the transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. For example, adding words like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' can make your arguments feel more connected.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your points effectively, which enriches both the content and clarity of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your main ideas effectively and reinforcing your position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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