IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing

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Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to apply for the work which you posted on the local newspaper. My name is Neha Yadav. Currently, I am studying in Hotel Management. I have a great interest in applying for the job in your restaurant
due to
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 a few factors.
Firstly
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, your restaurant has a good reputation among other Frenchies which makes me to work under your shadow.
Moreover
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, I need a job in the customer care sector which would play an essential role in my near future. Not only
this
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, but
also
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 as I am an International student, I need money to pay my basic expenses and tuition fees.
However
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, I already have experience in customer care which makes me capable for
this
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 position. I assure you that I will do my all duties full of dedication. Thank you for your consideration and time. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Neha Yadav

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coherence and cohesion
The letter has a good structure, but you could improve clarity by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. For instance, separate your qualifications and motivations into different paragraphs.
task achievement
Your tone is generally appropriate, though a more formal tone could enhance your application. Consider revising phrases like 'doing well' in the greeting to something like 'I hope this message finds you well.'
task achievement
You have clearly stated your current status as a student and your interest in the restaurant's reputation, which is a strong point in your application.
coherence and cohesion
The closing statement effectively expresses eagerness for a response, which reflects your keen interest in the position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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